As we enter the holiday season, the inevitable toy catalogs begin arriving on our doormats. Most of the celebrations this time of year involve some form of gift giving, and if you have kiddos, that means t-o-y-s. Toys, toys, and more toys! I have a 2.5 year old boy and 4.5 year old girl and I needed Christmas present ideas, so against my better judgement I picked up three of the catalogs from major retailers in my town to look through the offerings. We don’t watch tv channels that have commercials with the kids, so I wasn’t up-to-date on the latest and greatest from the toy manufacturers. I flipped page after page, bracing myself for what I knew would be pink and blue and pink and blue. Taken one toy at a time, things wouldn’t seem so bad….but when I had four catalogs side by side, and when I had all the pieces of the proverbial puzzle together….
…my head exploded. Literally, right off the top of my neck. I know I talk about media literacy and sexualization for a living, but what I was seeing was unreal, unthinkable in 2010, and limiting beyond measure.
I have pretty strong feelings about childhood being a time of rich play, imagination, and exploration. For both genders. Childhood should be feast of color and creativity and movement. I find it wildly offensive that as I looked through these catalogs, color, movement, type of play, and learning were all predetermined according to gender. A child does not need to be reminded of gender every time he or she picks up or looks at a toy. What I had spread out before me was approximately 160 pages of gender stereotype after gender stereotype, and all of it being sold by mainstream retailers because it is our status quo.
As I looked through these catalogs, I saw zero boys nuturing dolls or pets, or playing with toys that encouraged fashion sense or manscaping. I saw zero girls constructing or destructing anything, moving vehicles, or holding weapons or sports equipment. Our kids, as young as preschool ages, were being sold extremely narrow definitions of gender roles.
I refuse to accept the status quo. As you read through the numbers below and view the photos from the catalogs, replace “gender stereotype” with “racial” or “religious” stereotype and see if you think an ENTIRE industry marketed to children should stand on limiting and binary ideals.
I want you to see what I saw. So here’s what I did – I tallied the number of kids in each catalog (Target, Walmart, and Toys R Us), then the number of boys and number of girls, I counted how many were doing gender-specific things, and how many were doing unisex or non-traditional gender things. I looked at main color themes and main activity themes. Main themes and gender-normal toys be marketed to boys were: vehicles, fighting/sports/weapons, and construction. Main themes and gender-normal toys being sold to girls were: fashion/beauty, pet/baby care, and cooking. The proof of the pudding is in the eating….
(Note: When I refer to “gender-biased” and “non-tradional” toys – I am referring to norms given by the toy industry.)
First up: TOYS R US
| Total Number of Pages | 80 |
| Total Number of Kids Photographed | 185 |
| Total Number of Boys | 97 |
| Total Number of Girls | 88 |
| Images of Boys & Girls playing together | 11 |
| (Of 97) Boys Playing w/ Gender-Biased Toys | 87 (vehicles, superheroes, sports/weapons, construction) |
| (Of 97) Boys Playing w/ Non-traditional Gender Toys | 0 |
| (Of 97) Boys Playing w/ Unisex Toys | 10 (piano, map, art easel, play kitchen, outdoor toys) |
| (Of 88) Girls Playing w/ Gender-Biased Toys | 84 |
| (Of 88) Girls Playing w/ Non-traditional Gender Toys | 3 (telescope, skateboard, guitar) |
| (Of 88) Girls Playing w/ Unisex Toys | 10 |
| 3 Main color Themes for Girls | Pink, purple, aqua |
| 3 Main color Themes for Boys | Blue, gray, green |
| 3 Main Activity Themes for Girls | Beauty/fashion, cooking, baby care |
| 3 Main Activity Themes for Boys | Vehicles, construction, fighting |
Images from Toys R Us holiday catalog. Click to enlarge photo.
More images from Toys R Us. Click to enlarge.
Of 88 girls featured, here are the 4 doing non-traditional gender things: guitar, ball, telescope, skateboarding. 4 of 88. (Do love that the guitar girl is getting her hair messed up, and the skateboarding girl is probably getting sweaty.)
Notice the kitchen set in the middle of the page? The boy’s kitchen has blue trim, and the little fella is managing to make himself a piece of toast. Enlarge the photo and look at the girl’s kitchen – pink trim, pots on the stove, and she’s feeding a baby. The boy’s kitchen doesn’t even have a space for the baby.
On the right side of the pic – notice how different the boy’s dress up and girl’s dress up is. Tough and ready for action! vs. tulle and petticoats to sit at tea. Every girl featured in dress up clothes was wearing some sort of giant princess dress, with zero other options.
Also on the right – pay BIG attention to the types of body frames – huge muscles for boys, and ultra-skinny with giant heads for girls.
Next up: Walmart
| Total Number of Pages | 53 |
| Total Number of Kids Photographed | 58 |
| Total Number of Boys | 32 |
| Total Number of Girls | 26 |
| Images of Boys & Girls playing together | 2 |
| (Of 32) Boys Playing w/ Gender-Biased Toys | 31 |
| (Of 32) Boys Playing w/ Non-traditional Gender Toys | 0 |
| (Of 32) Boys Playing w/ Unisex Toys | 1 (cooking in a blue kitchen) |
| (Of 26) Girls Playing w/ Gender-Biased Toys | 20 |
| (Of 26) Girls Playing w/ Non-traditional Gender Toys | 1 (robot) |
| (Of 26) Girls Playing w/ Unisex Toys | 5 (farm, computer reader, scooter, ride on car) |
| 3 Main color Themes for Girls | Pink, purple, aqua |
| 3 Main color Themes for Boys | Red, black, blue |
| 3 Main Activity Themes for Girls | Fashion, pet cars, babies |
| 3 Main Activity Themes for Boys | Fighting/heroes, vehicles, games |
Images from Walmart catalog. Click to enlarge.
Things to note in this photo:
Boys are taking over, building and moving things, and loudly playing with their worlds.
Girls are playing sweetly and quietly prepare meals and stir some kind of batter.
Girls focus on fashion dolls with impossible body proportions.
Girls are never shown with weapons or sporting equipment.
Images from Walmart catalog. Click to enlarge.
Things to note in this photos:
Barbie-looking girls drive pink/purple Barbie car. The only ride-on cars girls were shown driving were pink and/or purple.
In the black ride-on car at top-middle, at first it looks as though the girl is in the driver’s seat. Now note which side the steering wheel is on.
Love the pic of the girl playing with the primary colored robot!
ALL Toy Story products in ALL three mags were marketed ONLY to boys.
Note the Table of Contents – childhood divided into the boy side and girl side.
The lower right hand picture drove me insane: Girl sits on her princess couch cheering on what is a cartoon elf shooting the basketball. Heaven forbid we put the ball in HER hands and let her take a shot.
Finally: Target
| Total Number of Pages | 44 |
| Total Number of Kids Photographed | 61 |
| Total Number of Boys | 36 |
| Total Number of Girls | 25 |
| Images of Boys & Girls playing together | 2 |
| (Of 36) Boys Playing w/ Gender-Biased Toys | 33 |
| (Of 36) Boys Playing w/ Non-traditional Gender Toys | 0 |
| (Of 36) Boys Playing w/ Unisex Toys | 3 (play kitchen, computers, bikes) |
| (Of 25) Girls Playing w/ Gender-Biased Toys | 20 |
| (Of 25) Girls Playing w/ Non-traditional Gender Toys | 0 |
| (Of 25) Girls Playing w/ Unisex Toys | 5 (Imaginext Big Foot, scooter, Wii Soccer, Leap Frog computer, bikes) |
| 3 Main color Themes for Girls | Pink, purple, aqua |
| 3 Main color Themes for Boys | Dark blue, orange, red |
| 3 Main Activity Themes for Girls | fashion/beauty, cooking, babies |
| 3 Main Activity Themes for Boys | Vehicles, sports, fighting/super hero toys |
Images from Target catalog. Click to enlarge.
Things to note in this photo:
Girls play with kitchens or tiny little houses that keep them quiet and sitting still.
Girls dolls are focused on fashion and hyperfeminine attributes.
Girls dolls all have SAME body size – which would be unattainable for a human with organs or a neck less than 20some inches thick to support those giant, giant heads.
Boys build things!
Boys move things!
Boys fight!
Boy toys have primary colors.
Girls toys are overwhelmingly pink, purple, and aqua.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
These are the toys and messages available to you and yours this holiday season. I’ll show you a post next week that has my family mixing things up a little bit. Santa will be bringing my girl a cloth doll, a dolphin trainer doll, a marine biologist doll, a collection of baby sea animals, a stuffed dolphin, and Legos (primary colors). My boy will be getting Toy Story, a cloth doll, a stuffed cat, a tea set, and wooden train cars and tracks. Both kids will be getting puzzles, games, coloring books/art supplies, and story books. I refuse to accept the stereotypes being sold to my kids. I damn sure won’t be teaching them to my kids.
Toys and playtime in my house look a WHOLE LOT like this, from One Step Ahead:
At One Step Ahead, boys and girls play together. Boys have dolls and girls conduct trains. Science and sports are for both genders. THIS is what childhood should look like!
145 Responses to “Have Yourself A Very Sexist Holiday”
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Followed a link from PhD in Parenting.
Great post. I have 3 boys and I have noticed the gender stereotyping as well. I am so tired of fighting, building, and loud toys. They are so big and cumbersome as well. We are doing craft supplies this year.
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I watched a video the other day talking about this, specifically looking at commercials, though, and the messages they send. It’s amazing how limiting they are, especially for girls (we’re supposed to sit pretty and take care of others, while boys get to experiment, build, invent, etc). Ugh. =(
Thanks for the One Step Ahead rec, I’m also a big fan of the For Small Hands catalog! http://www.forsmallhands.com
Marcy´s last blog ..Giving New Meaning to the Phrase Fly the Friendly Skies- TSA and New National Security Guidelines
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Followed a link from Kellymom.com’s facebook page.
My word. Just a good reminder why I don’t watch TV and avoid malls around the holidays.
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What a great post with a powerful message. I have two girls and share your utter frustration with the sexist marketing aimed constantly at our girls. I love Commercial Free Childhood who fights this (and more continually). I love raising my daughters to be strong, independent minded and can recognize how sexist marketing is with pink and blue. My girls will know they are much more than shopping, ponies, princesses, sequins, and PINK! Even my 9 year old points out how boys aren’t the only ones who like trucks and she has a friend in class (a boy) who loves wearing his pink shirt (even if he is teased endlessly). Thanks goodness there are parents who can get beyond stereotypes and think about the messages we send children so early on.
I opened my business Polkadot Patch Boutique to challenge stereotypes and dress children in colorful clothing that reflects childhood. It hasn’t been easy to buck the retail trend of children’s clothing because most manufacturers simply won’t produce non-pink or non-princess clothes because “That’s what sells”. I operate this business because I believe in offering parents choice and know there are plenty of them who share my beliefs.
Thank you for this blog! I’m a new follower and glad to have found you!
Marianne
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i’m just as un-thrilled as the next person at what the ads portray or infer, but just as with the battle against junk food, it’s up to the parents to introduce and provide their kids with positive, healthy play (and food).
our kids are going to grow up in the world that spews forth gender-biases and happy meals. rather than shield my daughter to these things, i teach her about them and we talk about why they exist and what we agree or disagree with.
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I have 7mo old twin girls and I am amazed by one of their toys. Its the Vtech Learn & Discover Driver. It is just a steering wheel w/base that makes music and such. Well one of the things it says is “slow down little fella.” Really? In 2010 we are saying that? A steering wheel is only for a boy? Crazy.
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Great post. My son loves cooking and helping to cook. His cooking set is one of his favorite toys. So I’m thinking a play kitchen would be a great christmas gift. While there are more gender neutral kitchens than there used to be, they’re still primarily pink and frilly. Seems cooking is still in the realm of women and girls, at least in the eyes of toy makers. And good luck finding a tea seat that isn’t pink and purple! While my son loves trucks, balls, dinosaurs, and cars as much as the next boy, he also loves his “baby” (cabbage patch doll from my husband’s childhood), his teddy bears. I hate all the stereotyping and how early it starts in our kids lives!!
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Love the statistical breakdown – we have so many toy catalogues over here (in the UK) which are full of the same rubbish! Keep meaning to do the same sort of count – maybe with your framework I’ll get round to it this year!
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Wow. I do believe that that the biological differences between boys/girls and men/women sometimes affect our preferences, activities, and behavior. We are different. However, I hate that the media wants to decide for our children what those differences are, and that every child must conform to it’s idea of a typical boy or girl.
My parents are making some/all? of their Christmas gifts this year and I’m hoping that my child will get gifts that fit his interests, without the narrow color restrictions, distasteful body images, etc.
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Robyn Reply:
November 19th, 2010 at 6:54 pm
The differences are far less than most people think, and in fact are quite small. Try reading Pink Brain/Blue Brain by neuroscientist Dr. Lise Eliot. She gives a fascinating review of the literature on this subject.
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Great post! I tend to throw most catalogs straight into the recycling bin, but I also know my 4-year-old girl loves the girly catalogs.
Three years ago, when my boy was 5 and my girl was 1, I made each of them a cloth doll that kind of looks like them. They both like them, although by now my 4-year-old daughter has plenty of other dolls, too.
Two years ago my son was really into cooking and writing his own recipes, so my sister gave him a blank book for writing recipes (with a decorated cover), and an apron she’d dyed and painted on.
Actually, my sister generally gives the best presents ever: a set of silk scarves, hand-dyed in different colors. Those things have seen a lot of play in 5 years! A build-it-yourself bird house. A paint-your-own piggybank.
I’m going to keep this in mind when I make or buy presents this year!
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You messed up the total numbers for the second 2 stores, btw.
As a mom of 3 boys, I am so sick of the marketing. I’m trying to counter it, but it’s hard when everything they see is that pink is for girls & blue is for boys. At least we’ve managed a bit, last year for Christmas my middle son desperately wanted a Barbie camper. Wish we could have found one for him. This year the older 2 are getting electronics, so gender neutral & I think now I’m going to check out One Step Ahead for the toddler.
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melissa Reply:
November 19th, 2010 at 3:52 pm
Oops! You are right, thanks for pointing that out. I’ll go in and fix it now. I had a four year old hanging off of me begging for a snack while I was trying to proof read!
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I was sooo disappointed when the stalwart of my childhood, LEGO, went gendered. They were reliably neutral and showed boys and girls in the product shots. Somewhere along the way, they divided it up – boys get building, war and space, girls get houses. Typical, and disappointing.
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My son recently decided he wanted a baby doll. He saw it in the store and ran towards it yelling, “Baby!!!”, grabbed it off of the shelf and brought it to me. The baby was wearing ALL pink from head to toe. There were no boy dolls and I knew his dad would have a fit … but we got it anyway. My son wanted a baby, there is no reason he can’t learn to be a good daddy now (after all, that is one reason little girls play with dolls, to pretend to be little mommies).
He also likes “vroom vrooms” and tools.
For Christmas, I wanted to get him a kitchen, as he likes to “help” cook. I only found pink ones. ALL of them were pink. Now, I don’t like pink, myself. I hate pink, worst color ever! So, I got him a pretend grill. When I went looking for food for this grill, what did I find? Ever box with pretend food in it was pink. The knives, pots, pans, other silverware, all pink.
Honestly, I don’t care if he plays with pink things. I just don’t, if he likes it then fine but really? Do they ALL have to be pink? Everything? I like variety and color and change! It’s annoying.
Anyway, thanks for posting. I’m glad to find I’m not crazy and if I am, at least there are others like me. Everyone I know wants there girls to be princesses and their boys to fight or blow things up … and they get them things that reflect that. I let my son decide what he wants to do and let him decide his toys. So what if he chooses the doll? (Apparently, I’m turning him gay … *eye roll* not even really an insult even if that WERE what I was doing)
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Erin Reply:
November 19th, 2010 at 10:12 pm
A great alternative to the pink stuff you find in the store is wood! Plan Toys and Melissa and Doug have great options! You can also find just plain wood kitchens as well. I feel the same way. I don’t mind my son playing with pink toys, but I don’t want to pay for toys that are gendered. I just don’t want to support that.
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jorie Reply:
November 20th, 2010 at 10:50 am
I turned to Cabbage Patch Kids when I wanted to buy a boy doll for the son of my friend. He LOVED his little baby boy cabbage patch. So many brands, even if the doll is a boy, come in super pink packaging with a little girl on it.
I also found a very cute little boy baby doll on Amazon, and a blue gingham doll stroller, which I bought for another little boy.
I agree, boys need baby dolls! They are a very important toy.
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Amy Reply:
November 20th, 2010 at 7:34 pm
step 2 has a great kitchen in green and brown. the plates and cups are very neutral too. i inherited mine for my daughter from my sister who bought it for her 2 sons. they both loved it!
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Great post! You would love http://www.pinkstinks.co.uk/ It has a very similar outlook.
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melissa Reply:
November 19th, 2010 at 5:09 pm
I am very familiar with Pink Stinks and love their work!
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While I agree the catalogs take it to the extreme, they’re also taking the path of least resistance. I think there’s lots of middle ground — cooking, crafts, sports — that appeal to both genders, but any experienced parent knows that boys tend to be more aggressive/competitive/combative than girls, and the toymakers know it too. This is a marketing ploy, not a conspiracry.
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Robyn Reply:
November 19th, 2010 at 6:53 pm
It’s a marketing ploy used by nearly all mainstream stores. That makes it a conspiracy. When these are the images that the majority of America’s children and parents see, it reinforces stereotypes such as “boys tend to be more aggressive/competitive/combative than girls.” Things which, when controlled for social factors, have been found to be largely UNTRUE. I will, once again, recommend the book by Dr. Lise Eliot. If you are truly interested in the RESEARCH on gendered thinking in neuroscience instead of your “experience,” read Pink Brain/Blue Brain. I’ll take the research over what “any experienced parent knows” any day.
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Eric Reply:
November 19th, 2010 at 11:13 pm
Your article only proves what any adult with an IQ over the average speed limit already knows; that companies use stereotypes and statistics to market their products. I have a few ruminations you might wish to consider…
-Perhaps the toy makers (and their merchants) don’t really care about the gender of the child. If a parent buys an E-Z Bake Oven for their boy, it is still money in their pocket. As far as manufacturers are concerned, a sale is a sale.
-It might be that you are assuming there is something wrong with women who genuinely enjoy the tasks of hearth and home. My own mother took joy in being seamstress and chef, wife and mother…yet she is a successful businesswoman in her own right. And I know many a mother who takes genuine joy in her role of mother and wife, and wants nothing more. Certainly I agree that women and men should be allowed to step outside of the roles history assigns them…but what of those who enjoy the part?
-Maybe the problem is bigger than a few toy ads. After all, if children are actually listening to mass media (instead of their parents and loved ones) regarding who or what they “should be”…is this not a problem in and of itself? Your article assumes this is true. Myself, I hope you are mistaken.
-Your frank dismissal of the value of experience marks you more than anything else you could possibly say. Do you even HAVE children? I think that one who has actually stepped into the shoes of spouse and parent knows more than any ivory-tower intellectual poring over charts of numbers can ever hope to.
In other words, calm the hell down and stop giving mass media so much credit. Should you ever decide to have children, teach them that they can be anything they set their minds to. And that includes fulfilling roles that were old when humanity was baking clay bricks in the sun.
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melissa Reply:
November 19th, 2010 at 11:32 pm
Just a quick note for you -
Robyn, to whom you are replying, is not the same person who wrote this article. I (Melissa Wardy) wrote this article, am a work-at-home mother of two young children. I addressed your comments about women having the right to choose career, home, or both in a post just the day before, here: http://blog.pigtailpals.com/2010/11/the-feminist-and-homemaker-inside-a-comment-on-toys/. No one here is saying that being a wife/mother/homemake is unfulfilling and anything less than a fulltime job in itself.
Your point of children listening to the examples set by their parents is a valid one, but I’m sure you can also understand that the media and marketing our kids in America are subjected to, not to mention the social cues they learn from peers at school, is often out of our control and becomes “urban wallpaper” we are forced to raise our kids with. Avoiding it completely is impossible, which is why I (Melissa Wardy) and my company, Pigtail Pals, strives to offer girls empowering products and teach parents of young girls about media literacy.
Robyn Reply:
November 21st, 2010 at 4:27 pm
Yes, I have children. A boy and a girl. And my EXPERIENCE (since you don’t care about RESEARCH) says you are WRONG. Both of my children enjoy playing with a wide range of toys, both those considered to be “boy” toys and those considered to be “girl” toys. Perhaps you should “calm the hell down” and recognize that both Melissa and I have been and continue to be staunch advocates of the idea that children CAN and SHOULD be whatever their dreams inspire them to be. Including susie homemaker or joe the construction worker. Neither of us has EVER said a word that makes it seem that it is wrong to engage in traditionally gendered activities, only that there is something wrong when those are the ONLY choices given to children.
The reason I think my children are less polemically gendered? Because they are NOT EXPOSED to the media in the amounts that most other children are! If you really think that media, advertising, and toy offerings play no role in the choices parents make regarding what activities and toys are appropriate for their children, then I suggest you do what Jeff suggests all us stupid women do, and that is take a class on media literacy and advertising so that you can be informed regarding the psychology of influence behind these things.
Robyn Reply:
November 22nd, 2010 at 4:50 pm
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! You DON’T EVEN HAVE children and you’re challenging my opinion based on the assumption that I don’t, when I actually DO HAVE children?! Well that sure does make it hard to take you seriously, Eric. And for what it’s worth, I’ve been a high school teacher for 7 years to at-risk kids at a special school for teens who’ve been removed from the regular high schools. So, yeah. Maybe *that* might give me a little credibility in your eyes.
The Leaky B@@b Reply:
November 20th, 2010 at 12:37 am
I’m a mom of 5, all girls, so maybe I’m not qualified but I’m going to have to respectfully disagree that “any experienced parent knows that boys tend to be more aggressive/competitive/combative than girls…” I have taught and worked with children for year, children of all ages and in all stages of development from preschool to high school. I will agree that boys are expected to be more aggressive/competitive/combative than girls and when they exhibit these behaviors it is most frequently dismissed as “boys will be boys.” Similarly girls are not expected to behave this way but when they do they are then chided and redirected to what many would consider more appropriate behavior for a girl. Even the language we use is different for the same behaviors boys and girls exhibit. If a girl is active and forceful she is called loud and domineering or unladylike and a tomboy. If a boy is gentle and sensitive or nurturing and likes to dress up he is described as girly or a sissy. I see it all the time. The idea that people will be/do what you expect them to is most certainly exhibited in children on a regular basis and the gender distinctions we cling to in our society are no exception.
I have had the privilege to experience community with families that push back against predetermined character traits of their children based on gender and have seen boys and girls equally exhibit qualities often associated with the opposite gender. These children are secure, confident and loving life, accepted for who they are without artificial boundaries.
My 9 year old is looking forward to a knights and dragons birthday party. She’s planning on rescuing the prince after she slays a few dragons and battles a few evil knights. I know without a doubt she will be the most aggressive knight on the field that day, that’s just her personality.
I agree, this is a marketing ploy but that’s part of the conspiracy to a degree. We’re marketing artificial stereotypes and buying them because they sell. Because we’re willing to let the toy makers tell our children boys are one way and girls another instead of taking a stand and saying we want better, our children deserve to be themselves so the toy makers and marketers can take their crap and shove it.
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I wish there were ‘just toys- not girl toys or boy toys,’ as my friend Heather’s son put it. Great article.
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The Leaky B@@b Reply:
November 20th, 2010 at 12:40 am
There are! Check out companies like Nova Natural, Rosie Hippo, the Bella Luna Toys. All just toys!
The Leaky B@@b´s last blog ..This Moment- Avocado and Pumpkin Smiles
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Sexism is alive and well!
One Step Ahead sounds like a great company and I’ll have to look at them in the future–right now my son is only 1, and we aren’t bothering with toys at all.
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melissa Reply:
November 19th, 2010 at 5:42 pm
Kids have to have some toys – play is a child’s work and crucial for exploration and understanding of the world. One Step Ahead is great! You might also like the Infantino brand for your little guy. When my kids were one year old they loved nesting blocks, stacking rings, balls, and push cars. Trust me, as he starts to crawl/walk/run/climb your bookshelves, you’ll need things to keep him busy!
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Nicole M. Reply:
November 19th, 2010 at 7:30 pm
Just to speak up for Laura G., she didn’t say her son didn’t play, she just said he doesn’t play with toys, yet. My daughter would get toys as baby, and only want to play with the box it came in! In fact, her favorite “toy” was an empty kleenex box. She also loved to play with measuring cups, spoons, and spatulas from our kitchen.
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melissa Reply:
November 19th, 2010 at 9:02 pm
When my daughter was a little over a year, she spent an entire afternoon playing with a laundry basket, a pile of dish towels, and a piece of paper. Sometimes the best “toys” aren’t toys at all! My kids have their own drawer in the kitchen full of wooden spoons, measuring cups, funnels, and old pots. Ealier this year my daughter emptied my cupboard and made the skyline of Sydney with the boxes and cans of food. Opera house and all!
SH Reply:
November 19th, 2010 at 11:25 pm
But some of my favourite toys for babies aren’t toys at all. Kitchen stuff – stacking cups, funnels etc etc
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This is a really great post, Melissa, and I know you worked hard on it. Despite my very pink website
I still try to raise my children without locking them into gender stereotypes. Many kids do tend to prefer activities that are traditional to their gender, but we can still strike a balance and not limit their options. My boy loves sports and cooking, and my girl loves crafts, animals, science, and basketball. I believe that awareness through media literacy is the key to raising balanced kids today. This post is a great awareness-builder!
Dawn @girlfriendceleb´s last blog ..Host a Black Friday Post-Shopping Girlfriends Party!
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melissa Reply:
November 19th, 2010 at 5:38 pm
Ha, thanks Dawn. Not ALL pink is bad, just when it is the ONLY color offered to girls. Sounds like you have two very well balanced and happy kiddos!
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We have a lot of Melissa & Doug toys at our house. Plenty of primary colors, wood, and imaginative play stuff. One of the first things we got was a wooden sushi set, then cupcakes, puzzles, cookie set and on and on. None of it pastel, no pictures of kids on the packages. And my girls play with the kitchen my dad fashioned for me out of an old wooden crate 30 years ago. It’s white, like our real stove, and sports the broken faucet from our kitchen (which I installed, since my husband doesn’t know a hammer from a hacksaw).
At some point, I unsubscribed from as many catalogs as I could, which has greatly reduced the number of head explosions I experience.
And I heartily agree with JenJen about Lego going gendered. I also hate that they’ve moved away from the more creative just plain blocks to all the kits, with detailed instructions to follow and unique, tiny pieces to get lost when the kit eventually comes undone. (At least with origami, you can always find another piece of paper when your crane gets flattened.) Add to that the fact that they’ve partnered with movie concerns and video game makers to produce heavily gender-biased kits and games, and my blood boils. (JenJen might want to look into FIRST Lego League for a forum for ungendered Lego free expression.)
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When I had my catalog done, I told the graphic designer that I didn’t want a lot of gender differentials. She was great and chose a gender-neutral color scheme for the catalog. The photo shoot we did was great too. The Mary Jane booties had to be on a girl, of course, but I made sure we didn’t cling too closely to gender stereotypes. We had a girl model the hiking booties, and another girl model the cleat booties in full football fan regalia.
Sarah Natividad´s last blog ..Praise Inflation
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Great post! Just yesterday I had an “argument” with my dad’s uncle (who I see maybe twice a year…) about how I shouldn’t get my twin nine month old boys a doll for Christmas. He insisted it was girly and my dad would put a stop to it. I told him, nope, my husband and I would be getting both boys dolls so they could learn how to be good daddies! Maybe it will even be wearing pink!
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melissa Reply:
November 19th, 2010 at 6:20 pm
My friend just had her third baby (and third boy). Her mom got the older brothers these very cute cloth babies of their own. Let me tell you – there is nothing cuter than a two year old boy sitting next to his mama as he nurses his baby and she nurses hers. What great daddy-building skills!!
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WHen I was a kid, I remember wearing my brother’s hand me down spider man thermal pjs… I loved barbies and dolls and girly things, yet I also liked to be creative.. both art and imagination. One year, my mom made my brother and I hand made “cabbage patch” dolls… eventhough his was a boy doll. When visiting my father on weekends, my step brothers had GI joes… who were a little small for barbie, but that didnt matter- they played just fine together. I also liked legos and tinker toys. It does seem that a lot of toys are geared toward one gender, but I think the parents should be the ones who introduce their children to all differnet toys and limit thier tv time (where kids seem to see most of the toy ads and ideas). Kids today lack the number one thing growing up that my friends and I seemed to enjoy the most- imagination. We could spend hours doing all kinds of things with nothing more than just our imaginations. Sure, we liked to play dress up, barbies etc- but the things I remember most were games we played, things we imagined and time we spent just being kids. Get the kids out from behind their ps3 and nintendo ds and give them paper and crayons, legos, etc… bring out the old blankets and build a fort under your table… go to the park… read a book,etc.
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melissa Reply:
November 19th, 2010 at 6:18 pm
Amen!
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What a great, comprehensive breakdown. I love the way you’ve presented this with cold, hard data. Shine the bright light and let folks see it the way it really is.
Love what you do for girls, and yes, even women.
JC Little´s last blog ..Sometimes LOVE
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Great post!! It really is alarming how gendered the big chain stores and major toy manufacturers are. And it’s always good to see a thoughtful analysis of the hidden messages in advertising. While I confess to loving Target, I was highly disappointed when their toy flier arrived last week – exactly as you described it – full of stereotypes. My son is not quite two so we’ve been able to easily find alternatives to blatantly gendered toys – I worry what will happen as he gets older and becomes more aware of the images and such that are out there. We’ve just found out our second child will be a girl. I have no doubt they’ll grow up sharing and loving many of the same toys
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What a great post. I find the websites of most toy sellers just as bad as the flyers. Girls’ make-believe toys are pretty much restricted to domestic chores, with no rescue or adventure toys, while boys’ make-believe is all about fixing, rescuing, and some kind of law enforcement or fighting. (UFC fighters, SWAT team, and army costumes anyone?) Thankfully we have Mastermind Toys in the Greater Toronto Area, which does not promote gender stereotypes in any way on its website–no horrible “boys’” or “girls’” categories there. For the record, my two sons are getting, between them, a Playmobil dollhouse and farmhouse, some musical instruments, a play kitchen, some RC cars and planes, a little Clone Wars stuff, some board games, books, and a magic set. We just recently used the gift cards they received for their birthdays and my 4-year-old son chose a baby doll and accessories, along with a little stuffed toy based on Olivia, from the book series of the same name. It is so freeing to go into a toy store and have my sons not feel the least bit self-conscious about choosing the toys they like, regardless of the gendered messaging that toy sellers seem so determined to force on them.
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The WORST example of sexism in toys I have seen is companies that create “girly” versions of classic infant/toddler toys. Playskool is one I’ve noticed because my daughter has several of their toys. Here’s their Busy Ball Popper:
The classic/neutral version:
http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=3526297
The “girly” version:
http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=3565443
And the Step Start Walk ‘n Ride:
Neutral:
http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=2331997
“Girly:”
http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=3312372
I could go on & on because there are so many toys for infants/toddlers that come in pink “girly” versions. It’s really disgusting & I refuse to buy any of them for my daughter.
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jorie Reply:
November 20th, 2010 at 10:56 am
I noticed this when I had my first daughter. I refused to buy the girl versions. I mean for one thing, they color scheme is so boring! The thing that I thought was the worst was the tea party exersaucer.
http://www.google.com/products/catalog?client=safari&rls=en&q=tea+party+exersaucer&oe=UTF-8&um=1&ie=UTF-8&cid=2596574253042556597&ei=xP3nTMypGcKBlAfa-Y2oCQ&sa=X&oi=product_catalog_result&ct=result&resnum=1&ved=0CCgQ8wIwAA#ps-sellers
Now, I happen to buy pink stuff and I LOVE pink myself. My 3 year old likes lots of girly things, and that is fine. She also likes her trains and her t-ball and plenty of things that are not pink and frilly too.
SHe knows that in our house mommy wears the apron, but mommy is also the only one that knows how to use the power tools!
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This reminds me of the time we were at Bass Pro Shop and saw a toy truck and tent set for girls in … pink cammo of course. Oh, and the pink crossbow for girls was a nice touch too. lol.
PrincessJenn´s last blog ..It’s Genetic
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melissa Reply:
November 19th, 2010 at 9:03 pm
You remain my favorite Princess.
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LOVE this article.. although hate that it has to be written in this day and age… reallY???
Anyway, wanted to share that in addition to One Step Ahead and Melissa and Doug, I got my Step 2 cataloge today and they mostly passed the “sniff test.” Boys and girls playing with gender neutral kitchens and such… Am thinking that’s why I’ve been ordering from them, even though I had never though it through quite so much. I definitely wanted to buy my daughter a kitchen set that looked more “real” rather than on ethat was pink… I’d confuse the hell out of her, especailly since her daddy is the cook in the family!
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I don’t have kids and it wasn’t so long ago I was a kid myself but I was in the toy aisle today to pick up some things for my work Toys for Tots collection. I grew up in the late 80s/early 90s and the only thing I’ve really seen change since then is that toys that used to be more gender “neutral” (playing cards, balls, Legos) are now either “boy” or “girl” colors. When I was younger my brother and I used to share legos and they were all colors, not just pink and purple or blue and green.
Great blog post!
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I was just cruising through Target earlier and noting that the toy aisles are color coded to guide me straight to stuff for my girls. I hate it. My daughter is not quite 3 and I am doing all I can to combat gendering in her life. For Christmas, she’s getting a Care Bear (Grumpy!), books, and stuff for her dress-up doctor kit. For my younger daughter, a shape sorter and blocks.
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I’m new to this blog. Fantastic research you have done here. I am also tired of the sterotypes in advertising even though girls seem to be drawn to pink & boys to blue, girls to dolls & boys to weapons
I’ve worked with children & have a daughter.
My daughter is 5yrs and I have never pushed colour or having a favorite colour onto her. Quite the opposite, but She loves pink. I am happy to say, She also loves cars, dinosaurs & playing in dirt and with insects very gently, lol. I might add along with dolls and girlie dress ups.
We don’t receive advertising in our mailbox and keep away from it wherever possible, which is almost impossible but it is innate in our kids I think despite the advertising.
I still admire what you have done and I am now even more concious of it from reading here which has got to be a good thing
Christine Holroyd´s last blog ..Disappointing News With A Positive Slant
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Too true. I bought all my girls’ toys from specialty catalogs this year – check out Growing Tree Toys (www.growingtreetoys.com). One thing that surprised me is that someone out there knows I have an almost 7-yr-old because we’ve suddenly been deluged by catalogs from expensive doll-makers, some of whom will custom-makes a doll to look exactly like your child. Creepy… and why do I think that my friends with boys the same age are not getting the same catalogs?
I do wonder what part of the Y chromosome is responsible for extreme fixation with Star Wars Lego. I know plenty of girls who like Lego (if you can find them a set that’s not obnoxiously boy-oriented) but don’t know any who have formed a cult around it. But ALL boys this age are nuts for Star Wars Lego. What gives?
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I noticed this issue recently and I’d like to recommend Discovery Toys for all you parents who want the best for your kids!
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I found this article via someone on Tumblr and I LOVED IT. SO MUCH. I’m not a parent yet, just a college student who always takes note of stuff like this. So, this analysis was fantastic, if a little upsetting because the gender stereotypes are so RAMPANT.
I remember Discovery Toys. It’s like Avon, people have to sell it (though you can shop online, I think), but they’re “learning toys” that were really fun. Furthermore, none of them were super gendered. I loved Marbleworks. You put them together and then ran marbles down the paths you made, kinda like Tinker Toys. On their website, the catalog is sorted by age groups, NOT gender. Everyone can enjoy Discovery Toys. Highly recommended!
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[...] Speaking of gender inequalities [...]
I was flicking through the latest Ikea catalogue a while ago and an ad jumped out at me, so I photographed and blogged it. It really encouraged me. It’s so easy to mix it up a bit!
http://raspberrycordial.tumblr.com/post/1398069791/this-is-what-a-toy-ad-can-look-like-massive-props
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Seriously? Get a life people! There are more important things to worry about than pictures of*gasp* girls playing with dolls and boys playing with trucks and such!
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melissa Reply:
November 20th, 2010 at 2:56 pm
And such!
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edwarrior Reply:
November 21st, 2010 at 12:18 pm
I was going to go into a big rant about how you obviously aren’t informed about the relationship between stereotypes, the media, self image etc. etc., but really, if you even took a look at all of the comments posted on this page from parents who are sick of stereotyping, and watched the television for even 30 seconds, you’d see how this is a MAJOR issue– One that tells women they aren’t beautiful enough, that men shouldn’t “feel” or express emotions… This is such an intrinsically entwined issue that to not care about it, would be to not care about our future or how our future generations value themselves and others, to not care about the rapid increase of body dissatisfaction in both genders… really mate, this is a VERY important thing to worry about.
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melissa Reply:
November 21st, 2010 at 12:38 pm
I think you make such an excellent point about how boys are affected by this kind of marketing. My focus is on girls, but I absolutely agree that our boys need to be advocated for. I am raising a son, and I want more than anything for him to be a caring, thoughtful, strong, loving, brave, tender man and devoted father (should he have children).
We have to allow our boys to feel and express emotions. We HAVE to care. I’m glad you do, and thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment.
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I don’t think you can go wrong with the imaginative toys that aren’t totaly pre-formed. In our house we have lots of silks instead of dressup clothes, marble run, Kiva Planks (fantastic for any age), active toys (balls, pogo sticks, stilts) as well as dolls, stuffed animals and a crane. The only toys my two girls (now 8 and 11) rarely ever play with are their dolls and the wooden toy crane. There are so many possibilities. But then my children don’t watch TV and don’t get to see those cheesy catalogues.
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I wrote about this in my blog last night….you can check it out if you want: bevthegreat.tumblr.com
I agree with you, the gender-stereotyping in toys is absolutely ridiculous. Why shouldn’t boys want easy bake ovens? They don’t make those in colors other than pink and purple. Why is that?
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[...] This blog from was published yesterday (on November 19, 2010) and is already making it’s rounds. [...]
I’m so glad to see other mama’s care about the whole sexist toys that are enforced on kids thing. My 8 year old daughter loves anything animals. She is really into “How to Train a Dragon” and got really mad when ALL the toys, clothes, and gear was designed for BOYS ONLY! WTF is up with that? They assume girls won’t care about the movie or want any of the items? I had to buy her a boys shirt and boy shoes so she could wear her favorite toothless dragon. It angered me to no end that all the advertising never once showed a girl. They really missed the mark and left out half the market! Apparently dragons are too scary for girls (even though there was 1 dragon training girl in the movie… the only female I even recall seeing).
Another thing I’m so proud of, my daughter dislikes barbies, dolls, dressup, princesses, pink/lace/frills. She wants to play with things that are artistic and imaginative. I once overheard a conversation between her little friend and her talking about princesses. The friend asked her, “Who is your favorite princess?” My daughter proudly answered (at age 5) “I don’t like princesses because they are NOT real.” Haha! WTG my realistic thinking girl.
I have never once forced any of these ideas or interests on her. This is just her own little personality. I fully expected to have a little diva girl who only liked dolls, dressup, and pink/lace/frills. I’m happy that I got the unexpected. 
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Ladies, the advertising being criticized here is designed to earn millions for the companies represented.
For those that disagree with it, or are downright offended, maybe think about returning to college, work for that degree in advertising and obtain employment in that field, so that you can try to convince the CEO’s, their board of directors and stockholders that they are wrong. And good luck with that. :p
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melissa Reply:
November 20th, 2010 at 3:04 pm
Hey James -
I think the Ladies here “get” that the marketing is meant to earn millions. Several of the women you are suggesting return to college to work in advertising or toy development already own buisness that make the kind of products we’d like to see for our kids. There’s no degree needed to be a proactive, media literate parent.
As women control more than 80% of household spending, I think our discussion here is both valid, and valuable. Several of these toy companies watch and read this blog, so I think our message is being sent.
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Robyn Reply:
November 21st, 2010 at 4:19 pm
I’m sure you could be more condescending if you tried, James, but I’m not sure it would make anyone listen to your insulting comments any more.
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Maggie Reply:
November 28th, 2010 at 7:57 pm
Cheers for the mansplainin’, dude.
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We, too, don’t watch any commercialized television (opting for netflix and pbs.org instead), so my kids are blissfully ignorant of the marketing that is so loudly forced on all of us these days. It really does make Christams shopping so much easier when your kids aren’t being told what to buy!
I’ve got a 9 year old boy and a 4 year old girl (and a 5 month old son, but we’ll leave him out of the equation since all he wants for Christmas is more time on the boob.). On any given day, my little princess can be found dressed up as a ninja (that’s what she chose to be for halloween), a pirate, wonder woman, spiderman or anything in between. She does love the color pink like non other and she loves her some lip gloss too, but she would chose Toy Story and Star Wars over Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty any day. My 9 year old is a fairly typical boy, he was also a ninja for halloween and he has his fair share of light sabers and swords, but he also has mad love for his stuffed animals and nurtures them just as much as my 4 year old nurtures her baby dolls…maybe even more than she does and he loves to help me cook.
I wish I could say that I made a very concentrated effort to keep gender stereo typing out of our home, but it really just came about because my kids don’t have the option but to play well together (we homeschool so they’re together 24/7) so they didn’t have the option to walk on the straight and narrow path of gender specific play, they had to learn to smudge that line or there wouldn’t be any play at all!
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oh, and when my mom took my kids clothes shopping a few weeks ago, my little girl came home with a bag full of toy story and transformer clothes, all from the boy section…and pink glitter mary jane sneakers! that girl, she’s one of a kind! I’ll never forget the Christmas that Grammy decided to buy my son Star Wars jammies and buy my daughter Strawberry Shortcake jammies. She cried and cried until Papa went to the store and got her some Star Wars jammies of her very own! lol
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We are pretty numb to this now. From a very early age, we’d show our oldest daughter (now 6.5) these kinds of things and ask her questions like: do you find it odd that a boy is never shown playing in a toy kitchen, even though daddy does all the cooking in our house. Or, that all the girls are wearing pink or pastels and are never near a toolkit, yet mommy wears jeans and a navy blue sweatshirt while building her bedroom furniture!
Our daughters can (and do) flip through catalogs now and point out such things. Just like everything else that matters, it’s all comes down to us parents caring and being aware of such pigeonholes and stereotypes, and having good conversations about what we see all around us.
Jeff´s last blog ..Caspar Babypants – This Is Fun CD Mini Review
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melissa Reply:
November 20th, 2010 at 6:56 pm
Yes! Critical thinking is a beautiful thing, is it not? Kudos to you and your wife for teaching your daughters that at such a young age. I don’t know whether the status quo will ever change, but your daughter sound well-prepared to navigate around it!
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Give me a break. Most girls like dolls and most boys like trucks. Do we have to turn everything into some sort of battle?
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melissa Reply:
November 20th, 2010 at 6:57 pm
I’ll refer you to Jeff’s comment, and say the same to you, Critical thinking is a beautiful thing!
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My kids’ school has a fabulous teacher for their mixed age 1st through 3rd grade classroom (Montessori). Every couple of years she and her co-teacher offer the children a well crafted lesson on gender discrimination. It is amazing what those kids point out on their own in terms of instances of gender bias that they know is being pushed on them. The year my older daughter was in this class, the kids in the class decided to write a letter to some toy catalogs (though none of the retailers you have here) to register a complaint about some of the very things you point out here.
I don’t think they ever heard back.
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melissa Reply:
November 21st, 2010 at 9:42 am
That sounds like a fantastic class and some awesome teachers!
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Barf. My son really wants a kitchen for Christmas. So, I was so excited when my mother-in-law emailed me asking for requests this year. I told her: Kitchen for my son (age 3, and his sister age 1), or board games, or bike.
She emailed my husband and said she “no way can buy a kitchen for her grandson”. Which astounds me because her son, my husband, my son’s father; cooks, washes dishes, makes coffee and stands in the kitchen every day and nothing bad has ever happened to him like….I’m not sure what she’s afraid of….him not being a “man” or somehow “catching the gay”???
I’m still reeling from this.
Great post, Melissa
Andrea Owen´s last blog ..Stay tuned…
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melissa Reply:
November 21st, 2010 at 9:41 am
Rest assured, my son plays with our toy kitchen all the time and has yet to sprout a vagina. We have an awesome Step 2 kitcken, it is tan with maroon and gray accents. Our dishes are a mix of colors. Also? They rarely “cook” in it. Yesterday it was a dinosaur surgical ward, and today Benny was sitting in the sink playing with his farm animals on the counter.
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Food for thought! However, we don’t have to live this way, just because that’s how it’s marketed. We’ve always encouraged whatever the kids are interested in (within reason), and let them pick. My boy is 5-1/2; my girl 3-1/2. She plays with his stuff, and he hers. They both play with stuffed animals and dolls and themselves as the adults (caretakers) and babies. They both play with the Transformers and cars and “battle” stuff (some of which they create from other toys). I encourage this – any time there might be something of “boys can’t…” or “girls can’t..” I ask why and correct this. Both my kids run around my house (much to my chagrin). She still prefers purple, and he has gone from green only to blue to “I like all the colors.” They both like dinosaurs. I don’t let what the marketers suggest be what we live. Best wishes to all!
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