What happens on December 7th? That’s my question for this silly Facebook group whose goal is: ”There should be no human faces on Facebook but an invasion of memories to raise awareness to end Violence Against Children.” As of this morning the group has 7,800 some members, no website, is made up of “unnamed volunteers”, and offers no information on child abuse numbers, warning signs, or action items in their facebook feed. Here’s more on the story.
This campaign is supposed to continue until Dec 6th. Child abuse affects 5.8 million children every year in this country alone. If child abuse is a system that feeds on the dehumanization of its tiny victims and the facelessness of the perpetrators, this entire event has me scratching my head. What happens on Dec 7th? People I love deeply were abused as children and most likely would have appreciated and benefited from an awareness campaign, so I’d really really like to know what happens on Dec 7th when this schtick is up.
By now you must surely have seen many of your Facebook friends changing their profile pictures into their favorite childhood cartoon character. Many of mine have. I’ve read and been told this is supposed to raise awareness for child abuse, I’m just confused as to how. I’ve been watching the feeds of my friends, and not a single one has started a conversation about child abuse. Just status updates about holiday shopping and Hanukkah food and impending snow storms. I am not going to change my personal or business Facebook profile picture, and I’d like to give you some better ideas on things that could be done to bring awareness about child abuse and its victims. Because you know, changing your Facebook profile photo for three days is simply the very least you can do.
First, let’s cover the facts so that those of you with cartoon pics can have informed conversations about child abuse when you run into your neighbor at the coffee shop:
Latest studies from 2007 show that just over 5.8 million children were reported in 3.5 million cases to state or local Child Protective Service agencies and accepted as alleged victims of abuse.
An estimated 794,000 children were substantiated as victims of abuse and neglect. Of course, this number would not reflect those children who are never reported or receive help.
An estimated 1, 760 children die from abuse each year. That is five kids a day.
79% of these deaths are in children under 4 years old, at ages when they are MOST dependent on their caretakers for survival, are small in size, and are completely unable to defend themselves.
Of the 1,760 deaths per year from abuse and neglect, 45.3% of these are children under the age of 1 year. Babies. Infants. Beat and neglected to death. Another 34.5 % were age 1-3 years, too small to defend their tiny bodies.
Parents are responsible for 71% of all physical child abuse and neglect. Family members are responsible for 68% of sexual abuse.
1 out of 3 girls and 1 out of 5 boys will be sexually abused before their 18th birthday. 1 in 3. 1 in 5.
Child abuse occurs at every socioeconomic level, across ethnic and cultural lines, within all religions and at all levels of education.
HERE is an entire file dedicated to teaching you the signs of abuse. Read it. Know it. Act upon it when you see it.
30%of abused and neglected children will go on to abuse and neglect their own children.
Well, now you know your numbers for this awareness raising pledged to take place this weekend, but what could you do if you actually wanted to DO SOMETHING?
- Suspected cases of child abuse and neglect can be reported to local/state agencies or call National Child Abuse Hotline at 1.800.4.A.CHILD / 1.800.422.4453for help. After you make your report, follow up with the agency in a few weeks to ensure they have checked on the welfare of the child(ren) or to provide any additional information.
- Volunteer at a Crisis Nursery. I have, and they are the happiest and saddest places you’ll ever see. Find one here.
- Donate to My Stuff Bags Foundation, that provides immediate, tangible items to children who have been torn away from abusive homes, often without the dignity of personal belongings.
- Donate items to a Crisis Nursery. They are always in need of: diapers, diaper rash cream, pacifiers, child underwear, batteries, healthy child friendly snacks, pajamas, bedtime blankets, stuffed animals, books, toothbrushes and tooth paste.
- Go to Charity Navigator – Human Services page to find lists of the top rated charities in the nation that help with child abuse and foster children.
- Go to Prevent Child Abuse America or Child Help to learn more about the topic and find meaningful ways to contribute.
If you want to really do something this weekend, if you really want to raise awareness, do it in a lasting, meaningful way. $10 worth of supplies or child items in a bag makes an enormous impact on the little hands it will be placed into. How many friends do you have on Facebook? What if each of you gave $10? If you want to raise awareness and be an advocate, do something meaningful for the children we’re all talking about this weekend.
You don’t have to defend yourselves, tell me it could be helping maybe just one child……DO something. Challenge your friends to do something. But DO something, because on Monday when you change your picture back, “back to normal” won’t happen for the 5.8 million kids being abused. DO something.
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Update: There was a request for information on how to prevent child abuse, as many of my links were about how to react to it. The best information I could find on prevention was THIS.
Update: There have been several messages sent asking about the rumor this Facebook game was started by a group of pedophiles to gain access to children. I have found no verification of this story, and the current status on www.snopes.com is that it is false. (Be warned: Snopes takes the same attitude as this post did.)
COMMENTS TO THIS POST ARE NOW CLOSED. Take the time and energy and go put it into our children.
187 Responses to “Child Abuse Doesn’t Look Like Batman or Smurfette”
Although I agree with you on many levels, I think it is more of a conversation starter…and like anything worth fighting for it begins with talking and thinking about it.
If the silly Facebook group has 7800 people in it and even 1% are moved to do more then change their profile photo to their favorite character from childhood then good. Awareness starts as a whisper, and activism comes in all forms…and not all people are driven to action…right, wrong, or indifferent.
OX
ashamed Reply:
December 5th, 2010 at 3:48 am
what gets me is the fact that this silly girl thinks that just because we changed our profile pics, we are uninformed about the terrible subject, and i quote “First, let’s cover the facts so that those of you with cartoon pics can have informed conversations about child abuse when you run into your neighbor at the coffee shop:”
well done to her, as this post, unlike the facebook page has done little more than generate negativity and hostility. congratulations!!
the fact that this site lets this belittling of people and this topic remain posted says little of its integrity too.
i only posted this as a reply on your post as i am unable to see where to reply to the post itself.
Offended? Reply:
December 5th, 2010 at 9:59 am
I don’t see how the girl who wrote this blog is helping anything by turning something positive into something negative. It was done with well intentions and in raising awareness and it is a clever and fun way to do so. I’ve reposted many things ranging from cancer awareness to child abuse so I guess we should all just ignore it all together? I am not uninformed about abuse, I know it and have seen it first hand and think that anyone who has the heart to do something even as little as changing their FB photo should not be ashamed but be happy and take advantage of the freedom to express in your own way. If anyone should feel ashamed perhaps it should be Miss Pigtail blogger!
disgusted Reply:
December 5th, 2010 at 10:07 am
Most of the people posting these idiotic cartoon picturs ARE uninformed. And if they aren’t, shame on them for just posting a picture instead of discussing anything REAL about it. This post simply challenged people to be REAL. Too bad it hits your pride button instead because you didn’t think to be more real about a very real topic.
Heather B Reply:
December 5th, 2010 at 12:32 pm
@ashamed I think you missed the point. as a survivor of childhood abuse and neglect i can’t begin to count the number of people that could have or should have reported something because the evidence was right in their face. I would go to church, to school, around extended family and nobody did anything. I think that is why there is the tone. It’s the exact tone I would have with any of the adults who could clearly see if nothing else that “something” was wrong. I still would love to scream at neighbors that heard the cries from my sister and I from being beat because we wanted some brown rusty water from the spickett when we were locked out in the heat of summer with nothing or all the screaming and beatings we endured with the windows open. How many times church people saw us with bruises, crying as we came into the building. They were told we were “bad kids” or “we needed a spanking” and nobody said anything. If these are just the tinniest fraction of examples of how people ignored what was right in front of their faces than maybe you could understand how she could have that tone, especially when she states that she has a number of friends that had been victims of childhood abuses. the point is that people need to actually recognize and help these children, not just “stay out of it” or “not get involved” but look concerned because their FB has a cartoon person as a profile pic
cherry Reply:
December 5th, 2010 at 2:57 pm
i agree, well said.
appalled Reply:
December 5th, 2010 at 3:17 pm
I agree wholeheartedly with ashamed. Why would you take a positive and make it into a negative? Your logic escapes me. I also dont think you realize that child abuse (or any abuse for that matter) is one person’s control of someone else’s free will. Child abusers try to prevent others from exercising their free will to do as they please. Now, having said that- your interpretation of facebook users and their free will to change their profile pic with good intent as “silly” says allot about where your mental faculties lie. You either are a malignant narcissist who envies and seeks to destroy others free will because of your own frustration or you basically no common sense and have foot in mouth disease. Either way, you are making this about you- not the platform of awareness of child abuse. Facebook did more for awareness and in a positive light than *you* ever will.
Tina Herak Reply:
December 5th, 2010 at 5:59 pm
I fully agree. In fact I am a victim of child abuse myself! I changed my pic! I donated money to the ACF. I am extremely INFORMED!!!! Thank you very much.
Crystal Reply:
December 5th, 2010 at 6:12 pm
@ashamed… I don’t think its implied that the people changing their pictures know nothing about child abuse; what is implied is that the people who have only changed their pictures, and did nothing else, haven’t DONE anything to raise awareness- which they haven’t. Why? Because the only people who correlate the picture changes with child abuse are already aware of the cause, and therefore have not been MADE aware by the picture change. The people who are unaware are still unaware because they don’t know what the picture change is *supposed* to signify. This translates to- no new people being made aware. This blog post is well aimed and makes sense- its not generating hostility; it is pointing out a major flaw, which translates into this Facebook cause not serving its intended purpose: raising awareness, especially to people who are not already aware; who are the very people this is not affecting or raising awareness to. If you’d like an expanded version as to why I think this, read my comment at the bottom of the page.
yogi Reply:
December 5th, 2010 at 6:33 pm
are you qualified to call someone silly?
But I agree with most of everything else you have raised.
Don’t forget Blogs are not always the truth of facts but try to be a readable opinion that entertain or inform or ‘something’ or we would not look at them.
I thing awareness starts with anything that raises a subject.
what we choose do with this info is our own beezzzwax, as long as we are not harming others (as the topic talks about).. I think the Blog Author wants us to actively do more , not just change our farcebook avatars.
Ashen Reply:
December 5th, 2010 at 4:34 pm
I couldn’t find a way to do an original reply so I clicked a “reply” to the top comment status.
I appreciate the OP’s sentiments and activism. I also appreciate her attempts to address comments individually, though not the repeated copy and pasted “I donated to…”.
I have been working on my thesis for a year and a half, helping to strengthen a training program in WI for law enforcement, teachers, day care providers, etc. on how to identify sexual abuse in children’s drawings as a larger part of a training on child abuse factors. I’m digging for the reference and not finding it at the moment, but there was a study done with teachers in FL; large numbers of teachers don’t think child abuse is their problem and a significant amount of them reported not knowing how to identify potential abuse. Half of the states in the country have poorly written, extremely vague child abuse and neglect laws. Another study we’re working on shows a significant (statistically speaking) difference in prison time for killing a child versus killing an adult. The former is typically only 1-10 years.
Dialogue IS an important first step. Shipler, author of The Working Poor, refers to child abuse as a silent epidemic in America. A friend of a friend commented when she shared this blog that the color pink doesn’t cure breast cancer, but it starts awareness on both macro and micro levels. Someone else here replied that repeatedly seeing something like “don’t hurt kids” isn’t useful. But it is. If someone hasn’t been exposed to the idea (and as sad as it may be, that equals plenty of people) it brings it to their attention. If a single person looked at a cartoon on Facebook and decided to get help if they were abused, donate a single cent, thought about what he or she could do differently or even comment on the idea being unhelpful, then the “silly idea” and people who “don’t really contribute” have used the power of the internet to take one step forward. Can people do more? Yes! But one tiny something is better than nothing. And look, through someone’s picture idea you have added to the dialogue to increase awareness and the need for action. The pictures have certainly started a lot of conversation and sharing within my friends list. Facebook is a mainstream, widely accessed form of communication in our society and through the profile picture changes have gotten the words “child abuse” out into other media outlets.
Thank you for this post! I’m sharing it on my FB business page (http://www.facebook.com/HHCreations) so that if my friends, family and fans want to actually do something, they have some ideas!
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Thank you for this. I too have friends who were abused as children and it made me sick, the whole cartoon character thing. Some people just don’t think before they post a status…they would rather conform to the world.
Jen
@jenchic
ashamed Reply:
December 5th, 2010 at 3:40 am
its a shame that you and the majority of people on this blog have such a negative position, at least this FB page is raising awareness and starting conversations about this terrible act. good to see you conformed by jumpiong on this bandwagon and slamming someone elses attempts to start dialogue!!
Jeanne Reply:
December 5th, 2010 at 7:57 am
As a survivor of child abuse, I thought it was fun and appreciated that people were thinking about the subject. I changed my pic and refused to be shamed by someone else’s actions or opinions.
melissa Reply:
December 5th, 2010 at 10:18 pm
Jeanne -
I’m glad you felt supported this weekend. I never said don’t do it, I said do MORE with it.
Sarah Reply:
December 5th, 2010 at 3:03 pm
Ashamed, your post would hold more water with me if I actually saw any dialogue happening about this issue. Many of my facebook friends have changed their pictures, yet only two have anything in their status bar about child abuse itself. Not good enough, in my opinion.
DG Reply:
December 5th, 2010 at 4:24 pm
I didn’t see ANY conversation among ANY of my friends that had cartoons for profile pictures. But I’ll be glad to know if your friends actually engaged in conversations, that would be great and probably the purpose of it, but unfortunately none of mine did.
jen Reply:
December 5th, 2010 at 10:02 am
I think a lot of the perspective you bring to the blog is based on how you heard about the campaign. Like some others who have responded, I first heard about the November game (which did not mention children or abuse), so when I saw the same post (from the same person) with the abuse “theme” suddenly attached it seemed pretty cheap – attaching an awareness campaign about an important issue to promote a game that didn’t work. However, had I come across the awareness campaign first and changed my profile picture in an honest attempt to raise awareness of child abuse, I might have felt the blog was snarky and negative. Either way, it sounds as though people have started talking, and in this case the end certainly justifies the means!
I totally agree with you on this serious issue–what does changing a picture do to help these innocent children?? there needs to be more awareness about how broken the CPS system is and PEOPLE need to be aware and REPORT abuse when they see it! Children have no choice in who cares for them but we as adults have a choice to do something about it
[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Cheryl Rainfield, Jen Martinson, Mindy, ~ Vanessa W. ~, Melissa Wardy and others. Melissa Wardy said: @RaisingBoychick My response to the Facebook cartoon schtick "Child Abuse Doesn't Look Like Batman or Smurfette" http://bit.ly/eN6SQJ [...]
Hi, thank you for your post. I changed my pic and I don’t have a problem with having done that but I am also going to be posting status updates with links to info on child abuse facts, prevention, and awareness info. In addition I am posting links for places that people can donate. If even a fraction of my friends on facebook read the info or make a donation then I know I’ve done something this holiday season on this issue. Thank s for posting your article and info. I saw it on HHCreations page.
melissa Reply:
December 4th, 2010 at 2:02 pm
Hi Elizabeth -
I don’t have a problem with you changing your profile pic, either. I have a problem with people doing only that and thinking they’ve contributed to something that could use far greater action. Sounds like you are taking a great course of action, and I hope your friends rise to the challenge and donate too!
Kristin Reply:
December 5th, 2010 at 11:02 am
I’m not sure I quite understand how any of you know that people who have changed their pic haven’t done more. You guys don’t see what happening exactly? Conversations on private pages, telephones, in person? Time spent by people who have changed their pics doing more than changing their pics? So many people are getting upset over this because of assumptions that nothing more is being done. So many people are getting offended over cartoon pictures being used to spread awareness. Is this the reaction people have over ribbons being used to spread awareness for all sorts of issues? People generally know what ribbons are used for…cartoons probably aren’t going to stick for this very reason, but getting all bent out of shape over it? What an epic failure this was for some people who wanted to spread awareness.
melissa Reply:
December 5th, 2010 at 10:06 pm
Kristin -
You are putting words in my mouth. I never assumed any of that. My post said that I did not see conversations taking place on any of the pages I have access to as I used Facebook over the course of this campaign, so I created one here. I’m not offended, I’m asking for more action.
I was one of those abused children and am currently toting smurfette as my status pic. It is a conversation starter more than anything else. those people who survived abuse should be able to be recognized for being survivors…not pitied. and it seems to me that that is what you are saying…pity us. Well I may have been beat, raped, molested, abducted, neglected and abandoned but I’m still standing and don’t want pity from no one. A pat on the back may be nice but not pity lol. So granted it may not look like batman or smurfette but i will happily change my pic to open the dialogue so that some of the points that you make can be addressed.
melissa Reply:
December 4th, 2010 at 2:00 pm
Christina -
Aw, I’m not picking on Smurfette. You be Smurfette if you want to be, and then yes, use the change as a catalyst to start dialogue. My point was that I do not see that happening, I just see a lot of cartoon characters with nobody talking or making any kind of real, positive change. Maybe on your feed it is different, and you’ve used your horrible experiences to educate your friends and motivate them into action.
I do take pity on small children (really, persons of any age) who are beaten, broken, terrorized, and sexually assaulted. Most especially for those that are too tiny to defend themselves.Pity: evokes a tender sorrow or empathy for people, a person, or an animal in misery, pain, or distress
Maybe we could use the word empathy or caring, if pity is offensive to the survivors. My husband is a survivor, and while I do not pity him, I feel remorse for the childhood he lost.
Ashen Reply:
December 5th, 2010 at 6:57 pm
You say you do pity people, giving the definition of pity that you do, but that you don’t pity your husband. While the Wikipedia definition’s first line includes empathy pity is more often cited along sympathy.
melissa_you_are_a_narcissist Reply:
December 5th, 2010 at 11:35 pm
Melissa, Altruistic narcissism is a horrible way to live, as it depends on the need to broadcast feelings of superiority over others. It works with horribly blunt and delivered doses of shame, guilt and fear in the guise of “helping” others find a better way to exercise their free will. It implies an ideology in favor of one upmanship that is basically transparent to everyone EXCEPT the altruistic narcissist. (And that’s the saddest part.) Child abuse is about not having a voice. No one should be above that truth by forcibly limiting and silencing others. To cast aspersions on the sincerity of facebook users that changed their profile pic is evil.
well i read it and though i have to agree that everyone changing their pic isnt actually doing anything to fight the battle, i think however it shows how many people support the fight against child abuse. i think if that chick who spent all… that time trying to debunk the idea actually came up with a way to make the whole thing make a difference instead of knocking what everyone else is doing maybe a battle might be won. it seems to me that people who write long commentaries projecting negative thoughts about something positive someone else is trying to do is just a waste of time. maybe she should take her statistics and do something positive with it instead of attacking what someone else is trying to do. just my thoughts.
melissa Reply:
December 4th, 2010 at 1:52 pm
Hi Tia -
I’m the “chick with the statistics”, and if you’ll carefully reread my blog post, you’ll see that I do try to do something positive and give people a list of action items that would make a tangible difference in the fight against child abuse. I’m not attacking what anyone is doing, I am saying DO more. Changing a picture doesn’t “do” much.
Tara Reply:
December 4th, 2010 at 7:03 pm
Melissa,
You may be saying Do More, but it’s coming off as “You’re not doing anything and this is a dumb idea.” Maybe if you could have written this post without insulting the people who are taking the first step, no matter how small, your article wouldn’t be so offensive. I am a survivor of sexual child abuse, and I changed my profile pic to a cartoon. I can’t afford to send money to every cause I believe in. So I start where I can. And it has started conversations, but not on my feed – instant message and offline.
BTW, what did YOU do to make a tangible difference? Posted links? Posting a blog doesn’t “do” much.
melissa Reply:
December 4th, 2010 at 9:11 pm
Hi Tara -
My post was direct, but I wasn’t saying anyone was dumb and I’ve reread it three times and don’t see it as offensive. Short sighted, maybe.
I’m sorry you think I didn’t “do” much today. In addition to sharing information ALL day long, I donated from my family’s finances to http://www.mystuffbags.org that provides the dignity of personal belongings to kids ripped from their homes with none of their familiar and loved things. It took me 90 seconds, about the same amount of time it takes to change a profile photo.
Julie Reply:
December 4th, 2010 at 8:32 pm
I am a survivor of child abuse. Happily have your own opinions and contribute to the tearing down of any idea that you deem unworthy. You know not the motives of the person behind the idea. Negativity and attacking is why people are afraid to poke their head up and TRY to make a difference however small and insignificant you may judge it to be. Instead of all your disgust why don’t you lovingly and positively add to the conversation with your fact and links? Or better yet, make the first step since you are so full of knowledge.
melissa Reply:
December 4th, 2010 at 9:19 pm
Hi Julie -
I don’t think I was disgusted or tearing down, I was direct and well informed. I’m not attacking anyone. I’m asking people to DO more.
I’m sorry you think I didn’t “do” much today. In addition to sharing information ALL day long, I donated from my family’s finances to http://www.mystuffbags.org that provides the dignity of personal belongings to kids ripped from their homes with none of their familiar and loved things. It took me 90 seconds, about the same amount of time it takes to change a profile photo.
cherry Reply:
December 5th, 2010 at 3:04 pm
Melissa, yes you are attacking people and stiring up conflict, as well as acting as if you are superior. I am a child abuse victim and i am very impressed that people are at least trying to think about this issue. A child must first learn to take a first step, even if it is not a very affective one, but you don’t beat them down for learning to walk to slowly, because that it abusive behavior.
melissa Reply:
December 5th, 2010 at 10:20 pm
Cherry -
I am not attacking people. I never said don’t do it, I said do MORE with it. I’m glad you felt supported this weekend.
Bliss Reply:
December 5th, 2010 at 10:31 am
Hi Melissa, you mentioned that you didn’t have any offensive intent and that you even read it many times. I suggest that you need somebody to re-phrase your article. Let us all “look at the glass half full”. I commend you for saying and DOing something about the issue. Your approach could have been smooth. Praise us all who wants to DO something. God bless us! ^_^
and some of those substantiated for neglect was just because their house was cluttered, because the workers fill their roles with families like that to avoid the real problems…
a high percentage are from families with children with disabilities… and we think children with disabilities are abused at a higher rate… rather than it being that children with disabilities are more likely to have someone scrutinizing their family’s every move, and thinking their parents are abusive for not doing this or that therapy. I have a number of friends who were abused. It was never caught, never reported. I’ve lost my children because my ex has bipolar disorder, my son has severe autism, and no one would help me find resources to do it on my own, and to stay safe, because I was able to navigate my husband’s episodes to prevent the relationship from becoming abusive, and to shelter my children from it, I have no hope, and am having to fight for my children, while numerous other children, who could benefit from the services mine are gettings are grossly abused and neglected, but their family looks normal, so no one ever finds out.
melissa Reply:
December 4th, 2010 at 1:44 pm
I am sorry you were unable to find the resources your family needed.
The only conversation I have seen this start is “OMG, I loved that show too!”, which is nice, but not really addressing the supposed point.
Thanks so much for the PDF on detecting signs and symptoms of child abuse – I’ve shared it on Facebook and encouraged everyone to read it, stating that it is my contribution to the awareness campaign.
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melissa Reply:
December 4th, 2010 at 2:32 pm
Exactly my points. Thank you for sharing the information, I learned a lot as I researched this morning. Sharing information is a valid contribution.
Crystal Reply:
December 4th, 2010 at 7:01 pm
You said you learned a lot as you were researching this morning. Was that research done as a reaction to the cartoon pictures? Did the cartoon pictures inspire you to do more about child abuse, even if only to attack the very thing that inspired that motivation?
There is no negative drawback to changing your profile picture and posting a status about child abuse. There’s lots more that could be done, but would we even be having this conversation right now without the very thing you disparage? It all begins someone, and if it begins with something like Batman or Smurfette (mine is Rainbow Brite), an easy step to ask people of, and then continues into these kinds of discussions, the whole thing is a net positive. I have several friends who have complained that this meme won’t do anything. And those updates have translated into conversations about what will help. It’s all just a beginning step, a starting point.
That worthless meme caused this blog post, with all of this really, really good information. It made it a topic of discussion, it gave people the excuse to talk about it.
melissa Reply:
December 4th, 2010 at 9:10 pm
Crystal -
I never said the campaign was worthless, I said it was “silly” and short sighted. I’m not attacking anyone. I’m asking people to do more, and in return being attacked. As I said in my post, I have seen ZERO comments about child abuse. Until I started the conversation.
Today I donated to http://www.mystuffbags.org that provides the dignity of personal belongings to kids ripped from their homes with none of their familiar and loved things. It took me 90 seconds, about the same amount of time it takes to change a profile photo.
Shawn Reply:
December 5th, 2010 at 2:25 pm
You did not answer, did you start this after seeing people post cartoon pics as profile pics??? If so you have silently been the direct result of what you are speaking parallel with…
erica Reply:
December 5th, 2010 at 7:10 pm
Absolutely agree with you Crystal. As a survivor, I joined the profile picture change as a means of support. The subject is very private for me so I don’t act as an outright advocate. Its a good way for people to start talking.
melissa, you know my heart on this one. and i echo your commenter above who mentioned that the only conversation starter this “movement” has promoted has been a walk down memory lane with regards to these cartoons.
::sigh::
Thank you for this incredibly well thought out post! You are absolutely right – I have Beatrix Potter’s Jemima Puddle-Duck as my profile pic right now, but I’ve been saddened too at the lack of on-topic dialog. I am a survivor of child abuse, as are a number of people I love very much, and I want to see action, too! I am posting your link, and I hope that more people will pay attention to the focus behind the gimick.
To everyone – a great way to help out if you are short on time and can’t volunteer is to donate Walmart (or other similar stores) gift cards to your local crisis centers! So many people donate the junk they find laying around the house, and it just sits in a storage unit because none of the people coming to these centers for help have any use for any of it. The volunteers who run these shelters know what their clients need and can use, and by donating gift cards you enable them to meet the needs of these families and individuals.
Take care, everyone!
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melissa Reply:
December 4th, 2010 at 3:57 pm
Hi Alena -
I’m glad you found value in the post and are turning it into action! Children who are experiencing what you experienced deserve more from us. That was my one and only desire.
Thank you also for the gift card idea, that is a great point and would come in very handy to these centers who many times operate on small budgets.
I found your post very interesting and hope your don’t mind I linked it to my facebook page… Thanks!! http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#!/profile.php?id=675468807
melissa Reply:
December 4th, 2010 at 4:42 pm
Hi Hanna -
Thank you for linking it, my entire goal was to get people talking in a more informed, meaningful, and lasting way. Now you have created a space for your friends to do just that. Have a great weekend
I shared your link on my FB. One of my friends then shared it on hers, stating that she had no idea why people were changing their profile pictures to cartoons. Proof that while it can/could be a conversation starter, it’s failing big time.
Thank you for this post. Thumbs up.
FireMom´s last blog ..Official Santa Picture- 2010
I am not understanding why this is being turned into a bad thing. I am a victim of child abuse and I am proud to show that I support any type of awareness that bring attention to this major issue in this world. This is no different than any other support that people show through FB example the purple day for the children of suicide or posting for the military or even equal rights. Open your minds people and just realize that doing these type of things help make awareness for people that this type of stuff never affected and now it puts it in their minds. Not only did I post a picture but I also do charity work for abused children. I want non effected people to be aware no matter how it is done.
I am a foster mother and I do my part every day trying to help these children live a “normal” life. You are right that changing your picture won’t help any one child escape abuse, but raising awareness about them will and that’s exactly what this does. I am happily displaying my profile pic of Thundercats too and I know that every friend I see doing the same this weekend cares about what happens to my foster daughter. And that’s a great feeling for me… and for her.
Jen Reply:
December 4th, 2010 at 5:18 pm
Will you be donating any of your “pig tail pals” profits to the victims of abuse? It seems to be up the alley of “empowering our girls”.
melissa Reply:
December 4th, 2010 at 5:37 pm
Today I donated from my family’s finances to http://www.mystuffbags.org that provides the dignity of personal belongings to kids ripped from their homes with none of their familiar and loved things. It took me 90 seconds, about the same amount of time it takes to change a profile photo.
As you can see, Pigtail Pals has a Charity of the Month program and I would be happy to take suggestions for a group that does work with abused children. http://www.pigtailpals.com/charityofmonth.html You are welcome to email suggestions to info@pigtailpals.com. I have to vet each organization, but as long as their financials are solid, I will happily contribute to them. For the rest of 2010 I am committed to donating to my local food pantry.
melissa Reply:
December 4th, 2010 at 5:33 pm
Hi Jen -
Bless your heart for being a foster mother. We have several family friends who have fostered-to-adopt and have shared wonderful experiences with us.
I’m glad you feel it is raising awareness and that your friends are supporting you. I bet that is a good feeling! I truly hope they have done it to support your daughter and the family you give her, and aren’t leftovers from last month’s game: “This is fun: November 13th to the 20th, change your profile picture with a cartoon character of your youth and invite your friends to do the same. The goal? Not a human face on Facebook but a wide selection of childhood memories!” This is the text from the NOVEMBER cartoon profile pic “game.”
I am willing to venture that for the kids who haven’t received the blessing of a loving foster family, they would prefer us to do something more tangible than display the Thundercats or any other cartoon for three days.
Most of the people I’ve seen changing their icon don’t even know what it’s supposedly about. (Also, see this: http://shamelessmag.com/blog/2010/10/on-the-i-like-it-facebook-meme-and-breast-cancer-/ )
It may have had a few positive results by people posting things like this, but most of it is just smoke and mirrors, and people feeling good when they’ve done nothing. (Or people just changing their icon for fun, which is fine. You want to change your icon, just do it, you don’t need a reason!
). If you want to share information about a cause, share information about a cause! If you want to do something, do something! Leave off the guilt-inducing messages and the feel-good “do something without doing anything” aspect. Talk about a one-two punch!
It does not raise awareness. People say “it raises awareness” a lot, but I don’t think they’re thinking about what that might mean. What is “raising awareness?” Exposure to the words “violence against children?” Just repeating the name of something over and over is useful if you’re a celebrity, but not that helpful for complex issues. What did people know now (if they didn’t come to this post) that they didn’t know before? Was there virtually anyone running across it who had never heard of such a thing? Just as with the breast cancer issue, everyone who would do this meme already knows about the issue in general terms, and virtually no one is posting information along with the icons (phone numbers or websites for what to do if someone is being abused in your neighborhood, etc.). It does not increase knowledge. It’s a momentary diversion that lets people feel good about themselves. That may be okay, but the sad thing is that if we instead challenged people to do something like look up what to do in the case of suspected abuse (most people don’t know!) it could have actually been useful. Instead, it’s just a game.
I challenge all of you to not fall prey to such feel-good games in the future. When they start to pop up among your friends, look at it and think about how you can change it into something productive and informative. Something that really DOES raise awareness, spread information, raise money, create change, and open eyes.
(By the way, International Children’s Day was on November 20th, which was two weeks ago. The dates keep getting changed to something more and more random and meaningless.)
Thank you!!!!!!!
We call it “slacktivism” this is what happens, “why is everyone doing ____________” … you ask around, maybe google and find out. Then go, “Ohhhhh….” and then? Nothing. That’s the end of it.
It’s like the whole bra thing “I like it on….”
It was just an excuse for people to be sleazy under the guise of raising awareness for breast cancer… ridiculous!
Thanks for this blog entry, I think I will share it on my facebook.
Jess´s last blog ..I got Inked!
MisSimplicity Reply:
December 5th, 2010 at 5:02 pm
Actually, the bra situation was for you to post the color of your bra in support of breast cancer awareness. Awareness is just that…letting the masses know there is a problem. Awareness is not a call to act, but to get you thinking of what you can do, if you choose to do anything.
Jess Reply:
December 6th, 2010 at 5:48 am
clearly you missed the second “awareness” raiser just a few months back that called on all girls in the form of a PRIVATE message to post where they throw their bras after they take it off and start a status with “I like it on….” followed by where they would take their bra off after a day…
Most people who hadnt been sent the private message were asking “WHY IS EVERYONE WRITING THESE STATUS UPDATES???” .. if it was to raise awareness it should not have been a secret via fb private messaging and most young girls (I know this since I looked at a lot of msgs on my cousin’s fb and her little teenage friends) were using it as an excuse to be suggestive on their statuses. No “awareness” was effectively raised from what I could see.
I remember the colour one the year before, and it was the same BS… A private message going around asking us to secretly post the color of the bra we are wearing so men will wonder what was going on.
Why not just say…
THIS IS BREAST CANCER AWARENESS WEEK, HAS ANYONE HAD THEIR BREASTS EXAMINED??? NOW IS THE TIME TO DO IT!
… More effective and everyone is inclusive.
Jess´s last blog ..Transference
While this blog makes valid points about more needing to be done to stop child abuse and raise awareness, to me it seems to have been written as a result of the “silly” FB group, so maybe more will come of this than people simply waxing nostalgic over old cartoons. All of the replies here and the comments about adding links to this blog on FB seem to show that the campaign in fact has done some good to raise awareness. Just my humble opinion. Maybe on December 7th people can post a fact or a link to an organization advocating children’s rights and keep the dialogue going.
melissa Reply:
December 4th, 2010 at 9:13 pm
Hi Margaret -
My hope that is more will come Dec 7, 8 and so on. That was the single, only intent of this post. Keeping the dialogue going is the key.
Margaret Reply:
December 5th, 2010 at 5:16 am
Hi Melissa,
Thanks for the reply.
Your intent is good, it’s using language like “silly” and “schtick” I have a problem with. Great, inform people there is more to do than show support on a social networking site. Give numbers and links to other resources. These are positive ways to keep the dialogue going. Your blog tended toward the negative and yet, like the “silly” FB stunt, it has gotten people talking and hopefully doing more.
Why dont you go do something instead of bringing down anyone trying to raise awarness. The time you spent writing your dribble you could have been doing so much more. I love the keyboard blog warrrior like yourself – you think you are so above the rest of us & know so much better.
Its harmless fun & its raising awarness wich anyone will tell you is the biggest step. Leave it alone – go do something constructive with your time.
Mel L Reply:
December 4th, 2010 at 9:19 pm
This post *is* constructive. It features many links and ideas on how to *actually* do something.
I was a child who suffered all forms of abuse for many years. I put up ‘Jem and the Holograms’ and ‘Care Bears’ as my facebook profile picture because it represents the few happy childhood memories I had. When I took refuge to watch these cartoons, it was the few times I felt safe.
As a teacher now, I advocate for my students everyday. We all have our reasons for putting up the cartoon.
Nancy
melissa Reply:
December 4th, 2010 at 9:15 pm
Hi Nancy -
I’m glad you had refuges to turn to during your violent childhood. Teachers can be amazing advocated, for sure. Maybe your students would enjoy helping an organization like http://www.mystuffbags.org or another group that does crisis/foster work for kids with your similar background.
Well said. I particularly like your point that people put something on their FB profile and think they’re actually DOING something. When I first saw the cartoon picture suggestion I thought it was weird and utterly ineffective. Thank you for your eloquent piece.
Betty Reply:
December 5th, 2010 at 10:21 am
Totally agree!!
Thank you for writing this. I wasn’t even aware of the reason behind changing profile pictures until I asked about it. Even if it is meant to be a conversation starter, talking about is just not enough in my opinion. Plus, I’m sure that many of those changing their facebook picture are only doing so because they see everyone else doing it. Anyways, your links were extremely helpful and thank you for the information.
Kudos to you for putting this out there! I myself wondered why Dec 6th was the “magic date”. Hopefully enough people share this (and READ it’s contents)!
As an adult who suffered child abuse as a child I think that there is nothing wrong with a movement that gets people thinking, and I am disappointed that people would criticize any movement that is meant to support this cause! What about the Save the Ta Tas movements? They get people to notice, and they get people talking. They usually make national media stories like segments on the Today show. I think changing pictures and updating the status is sometimes the biggest thing that people KNOW that they can do! Sometimes, they don’t know what else there is to do to help. While this article is great to get people thinking about how to pitch in and make a difference, don’t discount the ones who are doing what they know they can.
Thank you for your post. I agree wholeheartedly with your take on this meme…and all the others for that matter. If you back it up, fine, but just changing your photo and calling it “raising awareness” is absurd.
I’ll be sharing your post!
wendy @ ABCs and Garden Peas´s last blog ..Should I even DO a Hickory Farms review
While I see that you are trying to offer helpful solutions and directions toward actions that really do matter, there is a tone of holier than thou to your post and it is that vert attitude among many other like you that irritate the snot out of those of us that don’t have hearts that bleed for every cause under the sun. I don’t have children, I don’t plan to have children and I don’t even really like children…but the picture changing campaign doesn’t offend me because it might not make *every single person* stop, think and DO something…but it might make 1 or 10 or 100 and isn’t that more than if it had never happened?
Why rain on the parade? Are you policing ever single person’s facebook profile to see if *everyone* is just mindlessly changing their pictures, having chats about Jem and She-Ra and going on their way? I doubt it….and there might be some warriors out there really doing something BECAUSE of these picture changes. Why do people have to piss on things like this rather than simply choose not to participate, keep quiet and go do something? Probably because they want to lord their snobbery over everyone else. And I say that last part not directed at you by any means……I have another person on my friend’s list that shares your feelings, but they are being FAR more annoying about it.
I got a little long winded….I do appreciate your efforts to push the awareness along though.
Changing your picture will do as much for child abuse as posting the color of your bra did for breast cancer but you know what I did it and proud of it! Trashing this small gesture, to me, is the same as trashing who ever also thought up the idea for the bra thing! Everyone is allowed to have an opinion but sometimes they should be kept to themselves!
You wouldn’t have even posted this if it wasn’t for that “silly facebook group.” It obviously brought the subject up with you, and I imagine that was the point – to bring awareness to the cause and to remember what a childhood was and should be like, full of fond memories, more good than bad, not abuse. I appreciate the substance of what you posted, just not the view from the high horse.
Fran L. Reply:
December 5th, 2010 at 11:20 am
Some really good posts here like the above. They’ve achieved their goal, they’ve actually got people to ‘think’, ‘discuss’ and debate about it. Surely that’s what it’s all about? There are a lot worse Facebook groups to trash, surely something like this cannot do harm, as someone said you wouldn’t have written your blog would you. Changing a profile doesn’t belittle child abuse, it unites people and will perhaps they will pause for thought especially at this time of year. Things start off small, red ribbons for International Aids Day and look where they are now! Try being a little more positive with your response and you may find this also ‘helps’. By all means criticise but at least make it constructive and not just call it ‘silly FB group’!
It is ONLY a conversation starter because of people like Melissa who challenge people to do more. I’ve noticed for days that people changed their avatars to cartoon characters without any explanation of why. How in the world does that raise awareness of anything? It wasn’t until this post that I knew what the point was and my reaction is the same: Do more.
Bridie´s last blog ..bumblebrie- RT @PigtailPals- For all you Facebook Cartoon Child Abuse activists- It took me 90 seconds to donate to wwwmystuffbagsorg I dare you
I don’t see what the holler is all about? How is changing our FB pic to a cartoon character in awareness of child abuse a bad thing? It is no different than a “pink ribbon” for breast cancer…… a “yellow ribbon” to support troops, etc. The list goes on. The picture grabs someone’s attention. It sure did mine when I saw that my pastor’s wife who is 60….had wonder woman as her FB pic…I questioned to myself why she had that pic, and it drew me to her page which had the post about child abuse awareness.
To call us stupid or ignorant as some have…or just following the world…. whatever. I am a child who survived abuse….do I see anything wrong with the FB trend? NO!!! So get over yourselves.
Just for every person to take a moment and think about child abuse is something. It would be up to that person then in their own conviction if they wanted to then do something further.
debbie Reply:
December 4th, 2010 at 11:49 pm
Any act of kindness no matter how small is ever wasted.
Dear Melissa:
I really want to thank you for taking the time to write this piece. I also appreciate you taking time out of your day to put together resources for all of us to be able to access and help child abuse survivors. Come Dec 7 (or Jan 7th when it’s Doppleganger week on Facebook) we won’t have the excuse of having moved on to the latest trend. I also appreciate your sensitivity in responding to those who took umbrage with your piece, whether on the basis of their own history of abuse, or their own nostalgic feelings related to a particular cartoon.
I was personally confused by the avatar appearance and the command to “raise awareness” through cartoons. One of my friends pointed out that cartoons were used in the process of his abuse, and he was more compelled to speak out about his abuse, rather than letting a cartoon do the talking. I had another thought about that along the same vein. Why don’t we start to name our abusers, is we feel so inclined, or if we feel safe? Why must we retreat (only) to cartoons? I have to admit, my circle of friends and I, many who were abused or witnessed abuse as children, got not further than getting caught up in the cartoons we loved.
its great to have campaigns, even fluff campaigns, except when they actually obscure the issue. Changing or not changing my avatar is not the issue, whether or not I survived abuse is not even the issue. The issue as hand, as you pointed out, is how do I turn my concern , or even my own history, into a proactive way to protect and help children now?
Again, thank you so much for opening up yourself to reactionary responses and having the grace, dignity, and compassion to be gentle and tough at the same time.
Oh, and my abuser’s name was Derrick Winley. He’s been dead for over 20 years, but his actions forever changed my life and the lives of many other children victimized by him and his friends.
melissa Reply:
December 5th, 2010 at 10:00 pm
SP -
Your comment took my breath away. Child abuse cannot hide behind cartoons, it must be named and held out to the light of day. What you have done, just here, is the single bravest thing I have seen all weekend.
Stand tall in your survivorship. I applaud you. And thank you, very much, for your kind words to me.
Nina Reply:
December 5th, 2010 at 10:17 pm
@SP: I just want to commend you on your comment. It was really brave but also very well-written.
@Melissa: I too have written a post about this facebook campaign, and the many things I don’t agree with about it. I want to thank you for writing this post not because we have the same opinions regarding the issue but because you took the time to start a conversation that doesn’t talk down to people. You’re getting a lot of negative comments but responding graciously to them. From reading the comments of those who don’t share your opinion, I have been able to see the other side of the argument which I’m grateful for as well, and I’m especially happy to see those who respectfully have disagreed with our stance on the subject. Once again, thanks for the post and for starting a conversation on the topic. While others may question what you’re doing to raise awareness or help child abuse, I think you’ve acheived something with this post.
While I agree with everything you stated, I think your delivery was a bit rude. To be so snarky towards those who have changed their profile picture to smurfette or batman is well rude. The point to changing their picture is to raise awareness and if just 1 out of every 10 people who changed their picture decided to research child abuse and does something then it was all WORTH changing the picture to a cartoon character. If another person who may not have changed their picture but saw one on facebook that brought back happy memories and causes them to hug their child a little tighter vs. flipping out or laying a hand on their child when they do something wrong don’t you think it was worth it? I agree that a week of changing your picture is not going to put a dent into the child abuse problem and that we should be doing WAY more however, every little bit counts. Isn’t that the point to all of this is to stop abuse? Well I would think that would be every kind of abuse, up to and including harsh condescending tones and making others feel silly or minuscule for their decision to change their picture. Being snarky does not solve ANYTHING.
Theresa´s last blog ..A dream come true
i think what people on facebook are doing is a good thing! some may think that changing a picture is a small gesture but im sure many people will be thinking about what they can do for kids in their community! we as a whole forget about the bad things going on especially during the holidays!! and i think it’s good that you have posted some information for people to use! but to keep bickering back and forth dose absoutly nothing! it dose not help the ones who need help! instead of putting people and their ideas down think of the good they are trying to do and maybe ADD other options. you would get so much further in life this way!!
ffpw Reply:
December 5th, 2010 at 12:54 pm
Amen!
To answer your question, December 7 is the release date of the 4 expansion for World of warcraft. World of warcraft Cataclysm.
hope i helped
Gekko Reply:
December 5th, 2010 at 6:11 am
Also December is Pokemon picture month your supposed to change your pic to be a pokemon
D
Imagine you are a 12 to 15 year old child, suffering from abuse, afraid to seek help. You sign on to your facebook account, to find that many, MANY people are turning their profile pictures into cartoons to show a stand against child abuse. So many children are too terrified to speak up, and how do you know this show of solidarity won’t give them the courage to seek help? The fact that you are offering more information on the subject is good, but the fact that you are bashing the cartoon idea, simply because you assume the people participating aren’t doing anything more, is sad. A lot of people on here had it right, the simple fact that it’s being discussed is a good thing. I, for one, have seen conversations on it, so please don’t assume that just because no one in your circle of life has commented or done more, that everyone else is the same. No matter what I think of your comments, thank you for opening the lines of communication on the issue. And btw, if you are looking for another organization to donate to, there is a wonderful one in Las Vegas, called F.A.C.T. I have donated to them over the years, and they help children and their families who suffer from abuse. You can also look into any one of your local women’s shelters. And although not related to abuse, but most certainly children, you can go into your local hospital and bring a small gift for the children in the pediatrics ward. A woman did that once while one of my children was hospitalized and it was simply amazing to me, and so appreciated by all of those children.
melissa Reply:
December 5th, 2010 at 9:53 pm
Imagine you are a 12 to 15 year old child, and you sign in to Facebook on Monday or Tuesday and see that everyone’s cartoons are gone. Now what?
I wasn’t bashing the idea, I was asking it to have a more tangible impact.
Thanks for that info on F.A.C.T. I will look more into their organization.
It’s a good article, and worth a read and a share.
But I want to offer the idea that many people doing this, are probably abuse victims themselves, and it means something different to them than passive inaction and lightening a dark topic
I was neglected and verbally abused as a child, so much so that I spent most of my time living with my grandmother. My brother was physically abused far worse than I was. One of the reasons I love Buttercup enough to tattoo her on my body (even though I became aware of her as an adult) is because she is a strong, independent girl who doesn’t take anyone’s crap, and fights for those who can not fight for themselves. Sometimes, any hero is enough.
So I suppose the girls sporting smurfette who have also been abused, admired her for her beauty, and the way other smurfs protected, valued and adored her, when that little girl might have felt ugly, vulnerable and unwanted. Maybe the batman boys felt strong, and in control of their circumstances, as they helped rid the world of injustices they most certainly were victims of.
Not everyone can put their own face on their own abuse. I imagine that for at least some of these people identifying a childhood hero is their way of saying “The values of this character is one little thing that helped me survive.”
For the record, as a child before I knew of buttercup, I loved those abanadoned freakish ninja turtles, and felt I was a little like them, out to save the world from a dark, abusive force.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts!
melissa Reply:
December 5th, 2010 at 9:51 pm
I very much understand your sentiments and I think you are correct, for that little escape, little refuge children like you were able to find, this campaign could have merit. I never said the campaign was without merit, I said it was short sighted and I did not and do not understand the tangible effect it will have. I am not juding the people who participated, I am simply asking them to do more.
I find your this bit of your blog a bit condescending. I am a survivor of child abuse and it still affects my everyday life now. Just Changing my facebook picture may not save many children standing on its own BUT the conversations and emails that I have had will do just that. I spend a lot of time collecting unwanted items from people who have too much and giving it to the families that need it, giving money to NSPCC, supporting the local women’s refuge and more.If just one of my friends thinks about child abuse and does something constructive to help, it will be one more person who then speaks to others and a waterfall effect happens. Small things maybe but needed just as much as lecturing people on what they should and shouldn’t do. Just because it is not plastered all over my facebook page that I was abused as a child, doesnt mean that I am trivilsing it. I do not want everyone to know what happened to me, I have spent a long time coming to terms with what happened and everytime I do something to help other children and women, I feel proud that I have come out of the other side.
melissa Reply:
December 5th, 2010 at 8:09 pm
Hi Jules -
I am in no way trying to be condescending. I am simply asking people to do more. You have every right to your privacy and how much or how little of your story you want to share. I’m not asking for that. I am asking for people to raise tangible awareness – like the conversations and emails that you are participating in. Your experience will guide others, and that is where you will find power in your survivorship.
I’m pretty sure this meme started as a holiday-time childhood memories schtick — as in post a cartoon picture so that there is a post-Thanksgiving invasion of childhood memories.” I don’t know, makes sense to me, as a fun thing to do anyway. And frankly I can totally understand how it morphed into a child abuse awareness meme… What I don’t understand is how anyone takes anything that happens on FB as seriously as you seem to be taking this game.
Negativity and calling people silly doesn’t help a single child. It’s abusive of the adults who are being sweet.
Being nicer makes the world nicer. The people I saw change their profile pictures are involved DAILY in making children’s lives better and more peaceful. The only negative thing I’ve seen is this blog post.
Lighten up!
The intention of the group was to “raise awareness”. That’s it! Could they have done more? Sure! Could you have been less judgmental and hateful? Absolutely. Way to put your negative spin on a harmless effort.
melissa Reply:
December 5th, 2010 at 10:14 pm
Hi Jennifer -
I was never hateful. At all. I simply asked some critical thinking questions to what you call a “harmless effort”. I simply asked if perhaps there was harm in the effortlessness of it all. I never said don’t do it, I said do MORE with it.
Great post. I appreciate it very much. We don’t have time to play this game and discovering what cartoons in people’s Facebook profiles are all about while children are being abused. It’s wonderful to be doing something ‘together’ but there’s a seriousness to this thing that we need to be considering beyond ‘just’ posting cartoons. Don’t get mad at the writer for making a truthful statement. Get mad with people that abuse children and stop looking for cartoons to post to be cool and make a change.
Oh yeah this weekend I posted a cartoon on my Facebook profile to create awareness about child abuse. Get off it. That’s not being proactive sorry.
In the time you spend attacking this writer you could very well be taking the time to educate yourself about this and finding ways to affect change.
Some of you people worry about the wrong thing. Get your priorities together.
Too much time focused on how someone said something and now what they’re saying. Grow up because the children need strong adults to help them.
I have managed to start conversations abut child abuse. By disagreeing with the idea of posting a cartoon picture!!!
melissa Reply:
December 5th, 2010 at 10:11 pm
Thank you for starting meaningful conversations.
I understood that this cartoon thing was connected to the NSPCC, a British national charity working for the protection of children. As it happens its nothing to do with them from what I can tell but just having that link to the NSPCC, where there is plenty of info about how to get involved etc was enough info for me and any other Brit getting the same link.
I DO see where you are coming from and wholeheartedly agree, although I do think, perhaps, you could have written your post in a more positive manner (it did feel a little like an attack on anyone who had changed their pic).
If you remember a year or so ago plenty of women were posting in FB a colour. The colour represented the colour of their bra and the point was to raise awareness of breast cancer. Of course, no one said openly what the whole colour thing was about but after a few days the media got interested and it was covered in all the major news networks. Suddenly everyone was talking about breast cancer and the statistics thereof. I feel that this cartoon thing has the viral ability to do the same. Perhaps in a few days the media will start talking about it and then the stats and ways people can help will be met by a wider audience than even FB can offer. Isn’t that better than even your own donation (generous as it is) to your mystuffbags organistion? I don’t mean to belittle your contribution at all. I’m just trying to suggest that perhaps there is more method in the madness than you’ve assumed.
Thanks for all the info and ideas. I will definitely pass on the ideas.
[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by shannonbuggs, Jaeda Laurez. Jaeda Laurez said: RT @nappypoet: Child Abuse Doesn't Look Like Batman http://blog.pigtailpals.com/2010/12/child-abuse-doesnt-look-like-batman-or-smurfette … [...]
Wow seriously……. Well here is a fact for you. The FB campaign reached over 8000 people so far by just those who changed the profile pic and the thousands and thousands more who reacted to the profile changes…..INCLUDING THE AUTHOR OF THIS BLOG ENTRY. Would you have written about child abuse today if the FB campaign hadn’t taken place, quite frankly NO you wouldn’t. It would have been some feel good holiday girlie piece of fluff. How pompous of you to assume what people will and will not do. How self important of you to try to make yourself look superior by belitteing and diminishing another. Funny that sounds just like a tactic abusers use. So now as you sit on your high horse pointing and saying “Look at me world, look at what a great person I am” perhaps you will see yourself in the true light, like others see you. There were many ways you could have made your point today. Most of them would not have included trashing the work of others. Thanks for taking the LOW road. Thanks for making it about YOU and not the victims of this terrible abuse. You must be so proud!
Facebook is always doing silly things as well as some more serious. No one is expecting child abuse to end with this campaign, nor hunger to end with Wal-Mart’s offer to send truck loads of food to the city with the most clicks. It’s just something social media is trying to get its head around right now. Social justice issues are important, and however we can get the attention of people, and get the word out there, the better, be it tv, magazines, or silly Facebook.
Delaine Zody´s last blog ..Reflecting on Christmas
Thank you for this post. My wife and I had the same discussion/argument with several people on FB and they all spewed the same rhetoric. “It raises awareness!” Awareness of what? Is child abuse some new, unknown thing that has just begun to happen? If would be one thing if for every person that changed their picture, X amount of dollars was going to be donated to help fight child abuse, instead it’s no different than the “Lets try and get 500,000 fans to get Lil Wayne out of jail” page.
And I am tired of the whole “it makes me feel good” argument too. Do you really need something like a FB page to bring you happiness? These people are doing nothing more than following the POG and Beanie Baby fad in my opinion. Thank you for ‘trying’ to spread the awareness of child abuse, but what would have been more effective? Posting a ‘cut and paste’ 2 liner saying to change your picture to bring awareness to child abuse or to say “Child abuse affects X amount of people a year. This year lets all try and do our best to bring happiness to these poor children by doing (insert link, donation site, phone number etc).”
A quick question for all of those who posted negatively about this post. How many of you have the “I Support The Troops” yellow magnet on your car? Of those that ‘support the troops’, how many of you have actually shown it? Donated your time at a local VA hospital for wounded veterans? Greeted soldiers, sailors, airmen and marines when they came home off a long deployment? Sent out care packages to those overseas fighting for the rights and freedoms of everyone here in America? As a disabled veteran I know first hand that any act of generosity, even a simple handshake and a thank you, goes a long way. Do more than the minimum of putting a yellow ribbon on your car because it’s the faddish thing to do.
melissa Reply:
December 5th, 2010 at 10:08 pm
Thank you for your comment, but most importantly, thank you for your service to our country.
I have changed my profile picture to a favourite cartoon character from the time before my abuse started. I am also a survivor of serious childhood sexual abuse. I thought long and hard before I did this. But if we all had the same attitude as you, then no campaign would ever happen. However trivial or silly you may think this campaign is, dialogue in which ever form it takes regarding child abuse is good and incredibly important. I feel a sense of solidarity with other survivors of abuse because of this “silly” campaign.It’s had a great impact in that sense. If one child gets the courage to speak out because they see someone’s status with explanation of the cartoon character or not then this campaign has made a difference.
The pictures would work if people were posting status updates with links to information or personal stories being shared. No one looks at a picture and says “Oh smurfette! Hm, won’t beat the kids today!” or “Aww She-Ra, hm wonder what I can do to stop child abuse”. I didn’t change my picture and was accused of being a child abuser. I didn’t even KNOW it was supposed to raise awareness about child abuse because no one was talking about it. I have since spent time posting links to advice on how to be an advocate, safety tips, statistics, and how both parents and kids can get help if they need it. Not a single person who claimed to be “fighting child abuse” commented or even seemed to take note. Social media, including FB, is an amazing tool to raise awareness if people would use it properly and if they were actually serious. To me if you aren’t serious about it, post a picture and then post a status about how it’s reliving your past….not fighting child abuse. Otherwise, it demeans the hard work that volunteers with child advocacy groups do day in and day out.
melissa Reply:
December 5th, 2010 at 10:07 pm
Thanks, Angela.