Dear Bella,
Your mom told me all about your awesome blue shoes. I like blue. My little girl, Amelia, she loves blue because it is the color of the ocean. But if you asked her, she would tell you her favorite color is rainbow. Rainbows are so nice because they include all of the colors.
I heard from your mom that someone at school said your shoes were for boys. Maybe because they were blue or maybe because Buzz Lightyear was on them. At our house, we say, “Colors are for everyone.” Sometimes people get mixed up about that because they don’t think about it very hard. That makes me feel frustrated. All you have to do is look around the world and know that colors are for everyone.
But Bella, isn’t that silly! How could your blue Buzz Lightyear shoes be for boys if colors are for everyone and Buzz Lightyear is from a movie made for all kids and you are a girl standing in those shoes! I think people get confused about that, because they think something is only for boys because they never took the time to consider girls. I think people should consider girls.
Since you are four years old, you know a lot of stuff, and you know that girls can like or do anything boys can. And boys can like or do anything girls can. Things are kind of silly right now because grown ups keep getting in the way of kids, and some grown ups who are in charge of the companies that make stuff for kids like toys and clothes, they don’t have good imaginations like you and I do. These grown ups try to fit kids into little boxes that are labeled “Boy” or “Girl”, and then they only let certain colors or ideas into each box. They do that because it makes it easier for them to sell their stuff. Since boys and girls don’t grow in boxes, you can see how really goofy this is. But I have to be honest with you, there are a lot of grown ups who don’t question these pink and blue boxes, and then they teach that thinking to their kids, and then their kids lose their imaginations. Those are the kinds of kids who say stuff to you at school about your blue shoes.
Bella, your blue shoes are double scoop awesome, it is just that people have lost their imaginations. Little girls like you, with sparks in their eyes and fires in their hearts, you challenge what they think and expect from girls and they don’t know what to do. You make people think harder and that scares them.
The thing is, Little Girlfriend, that people have become so narrow-minded about what girls can do or what girls can like that real girls like you and like my Amelia don’t fit into their little pink boxes. You pop right out of them. Rip them at the corners. Knock the top right off.
And you should. There is nothing in this world that is off limits to you. There is no space nor dream nor challenge that you can’t conquer. There is no set of rules you must follow, no appropriate way to act. There is no person who holds the right to tell you what to think. You, Bella, are the great-great-granddaughter of a generation of women who fought like heroes to make sure there were no more pink boxes to stuff little girls into. Somewhere along the way, we forgot those lessons and grown ups let things get messed up.
Bella with your blue shoes, we really need girls like you. We need you to remind people what real little girls are like. We need you to remind people that little girls can do anything. I’ll tell you a secret, and you can tell your mom, but I think if grown ups got out of the way of little girls, little girls would have the space to become so amazing and so powerful the Earth would shake right to it’s core and when the ground moves, all those people who lost their imaginations would fall right over.
So Kiddo, next time someone says something to you about something you like, or a color you are wearing, or what you look like, just politely remind them they have lost their imaginations. Rude comments will come your way and you just need to brush them away like a bothersome fly. The problem is not you, the problem is them and the limitations they do not challenge.
In fact, take a look at all of these girls, just like you, proving them wrong. Take a look at these girls, because you fit right in. You fit right in.
Make the ground shake, Baby Girl.
Love, Melissa.
- Eva loves building and fixing things.
- Aria thinks superheroes are great, like Wolverine.
- Katie is famous for her love of Star Wars.
- Gabi shows off her muscles.
- Amelia likes dinos and the color blue.
- Rayna loves having short hair.
- Bella really likes her blue Toy Story shoes.
- Tallie practices martial arts with her dad.
- Bella and her blue shoes.
- Piper really likes Thomas the Train.
- Mira thinks motorbikes are awesome.
- Rayna shaves her hair for charity.
- Ivy wants to be an astronaut.
- Super Gabi on her dirt bike.
- Sparky wears gray Toy Story shoes.
- Emely wears her favorite pjs.
- Camille really enjoys Super Mario Brothers.
- Ivy plays football at camp. She is the only girl.
- Kelsey has fun playing with dinos.
- Amaya is sleepy in her Cars bed.


































My beautiful nine year old daughter’s favorite color is blue. It has been since she first could identify colors and she has never wavered in her choice. She doesn’t like pink and sparkles and refuses to wear clothing that is. I don’t blame her because I was never a glitzy girl either but it’s difficult to find girl clothing that isn’t pink, glittery and having so much bling you want to grab your sunglasses.
She also like cars and trunks, Lincoln Logs, Thomas the Tank Engine, Cinderella and The Little Mermaid. She tells me that when she grows up, she is going to be a farmer or maybe a designer. I tell her, “Baby, why can’t you be both.”
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Nadine Reply:
October 3rd, 2011 at 9:56 am
Hi awesome women who are daughters and who have daughters.
Thank you for your wisdom. We are raising two daughters aged 7 and 10. They like to play with barbies and do kids crossfit. They are content to be dirty in mud puddles, or girlie in dresses (if they choose to be). I love their strength and their confidence and I solemly swear never to suck away their awesome. In fact, I hope they have enough awesome to share with their “slightly less awesome” mother.
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I have struggled with this my whole life and am STILL – one week short of my 32nd birthday – frustrated with the ‘girl’ box. Because those same marketing people with no imagination also market women’s clothes. I want black running shoes and black sports clothes (though I will accept blue on the rare occasion it’s available). I HATE pink and am SO frustrated that sports clothing in particular does not allow me to dress as I want! 99% of women’s sports attire is pink or has pink on it. And is tight-fitting spandex, which is just unnecessary. Yet unfortunately, where a boy’s shirt will fit just as well on a little girl, this just isn’t the case for a petite woman in even an extra small men’s shirt or shorts. I hope your box-breaking works out for all girls, young and old alike!
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Honey Reply:
September 20th, 2011 at 10:46 pm
Perrin, I’m petite too and I HATE wearing pink. After being unable to find anything that wasn’t pink I grabbed a box of dye and voila! Some lovely black clothing.
I recommend you use a bucket though. You don’t want to ruin your washer. And be sure to wash them with vinegar to help set the color. Oh…and don’t wash with other clothes either.
~Honey
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I wish my mother still had that photo of me with my Mr.T kite while wearing my A-Team t-shirt when I was seven.
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melissa Reply:
September 14th, 2011 at 5:35 pm
Dang! I wish she had that photo too! That would be worth seeing!
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My baby girl is 12 now, but from the time she was 5 until a little after she was 7, her favorite outfit to come home and change into to play, was her Spiderman costume. I would send her in to clean her room, and she’d be in there and quiet, and I’d go in to check on her, and she’d be pulling on her mask. When I asked if baby girl was going to clean her room, she’d tell me nope. Spiderman is. She had Spiderman shoes, and a costume, posters, and blankets. She looooved Spiderman.
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[...] She owns a clothing company for girls and writes an amazing blog to boot. Her blog can go from a kind, empowering note to a little girl who got made fun of for wearing “boy” shoes to taking a major retailer to task. That’s why I love it. But Waking Up Full of Awesome might [...]
I love this, and I agree entirely. It makes me think of similar story from my own childhood. I was in pre-school and absolutely in love with the Ninja Turtles. I had a Michelangelo beach towel and brought it to the pool. All the other kids told me I had a boy towel, but my family all reassured me that was certainly not the case! Everyone can love the Ninja Turtles, everyone can wear blue shoes.
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In my first grade class on the third day of school I asked the children to share their favorite color at our morning meeting. Noah, a child in my class hurled his hand into the air to share first, but there was an already established order, so I assured him he’d get to share.
When it was his turn, he said, “My favorite color is pink.”
Two little girls giggled. I turned to them and asked what their favorite color was. They replied, “Pink.” I said, “Wow, isn’t it fun that you all have the same favorite color?” I turned to Noah then and said, “Noah, you’re a modern man. I heard that pink is the new black, buddy.”
He smiled, the girls smiled, and our classroom became a more accepting place in an instant.
I HOPE that some Buzz lightyear shoes show up in my classroom- I’ll ask, like I always do, when I see cool kids’ clothes and accessories– “Do you think that they make that in a size big enough for me?”
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christina Reply:
October 13th, 2011 at 3:26 pm
We had a favorite color conversation in my preschool class. ALL the boys loved pink! And we love them:)
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melissa Reply:
October 13th, 2011 at 3:37 pm
I love that!
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Thank you for this. From a mother of a little girl whose fave color is pink, but that is where “girly” kinda ends…. This made me smile. My almost 4 year old wears Lightning McQueen shoes, favorite movie is Cars (one), enjoys Thomas the Train and Bob the Builder (LIKE DADDY!), but loves her dolly house and pink bike. I love that my little girl is full of “ungirl” qualities and I wouldn’t change her a bit. Bella, I think you and my daughter would be great friends!
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Awesome, awesome, AWESOME!! My 3 year old has blue shoes too but I have to admit I bought them because my favorite color is blue, they are washable and made by my favorite shoe company Simple Shoes (which unfortunately has decided to take a hiatus from shoe making
). Her favorite color is red, she loves dinosaurs, Thomas, cars, trucks, baby dolls, books, dirt, running, climbing, cooking/baking, building blocks, Toy Story, singing, dancing, painting, play dough, Star Wars (because of Daddy), coloring, tea parties, animals, flying a kite…and the list goes on and I hope continues to grow! Thank you Melissa for all you do!!
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Bella,
my daughter is three, and she loves her blue gumboots the very best. She splashes in puddles and sploshes through mud. She is full of awesome, and it sounds like you are full of awesome too. I sure if you met you would be friends!
Jen
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Awesome! My little girl is 2.5. She has the same shirt as Ivy in the picture above (Future Astronaut). She loves animals, LEGOS, trains, and especially the moon and planets. Just last night we were outside and she said, “The moon! I want to grab the moon! I want to fly up in the sky and touch the moon” I asked if she wanted to be an astronaut and go to the moon. She said, “Yeah”.
Maybe someday you will actually touch the moon, honey.
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[...] Love ♥: My favorite color is blue and I love Melissa from Pigtail Pals: Redifine Girly‘s crusade to convince the world that colors are for [...]
YES! Yes, I have nothing to add that you didn’t completely obliterate in this wonderfully constructive piece of art.
Yes.
Keep on keepin’ on, little ladies.
Mother of four girls.
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What a great letter! My daughter is six and loves Super Mario, Transformers and Doctor Who. Her favorite colors are pink, purple and blue, but always seems to add that she loves all of the colors of the rainbow. She is a ballerina but also takes Tae Kwon Do, wants to shoot a bow and arrow, and owns her own bb gun, and want to learn to shoot deer. My boyfriend says she is “Dynamic.” People do not have to fit in a mold. Molds make people less Dynamic.
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