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The Merida Makeover has been big news the past couple of weeks, and rightly so as families are fast becoming tired of the continuous sexing up of female characters and toys for girls. Viral blog posts, viral petitions, viral satire cartoons…. the story and disbelief of the sexy makeover has proved to be highly contagious.  Discussions and shares on the Pigtail Pals & Ballcap Buddies blog and facebook page last week alone engaged over 60,000 users.

The backlash over Sexy Merida was primarily driven by social media activism giving consumers an aggregated voice that went viral and then hit mainstream media. We’ve seen this before a dozen times (think JC Penney t-shirt gate, Chap Stick, LEGO, sexist Abercrombie tees, SPARK girls vs Seventeen), so this in and of itself is not phenomenal or new.

What was new last week (and phenomenal!) was parents and concerned adults active in communities like Pigtail Pals & Ballcap Buddies became teachers, taking the messages about sexualization and gender stereotypes to their circles. These people turned their friends into informed activists, and that is an incredible thing. The ripple effect can be powerful, which is something I discuss in my upcoming book, “Redefine Girly”.

Disney has not budged in light of the media frenzy over the change.org and other smaller petitions. The petition was a good start and was useful in calling a huge amount of attention to the story. But it only required three seconds of activism. Now we need to go several more layers down, and as experienced activists, I know this community is the perfect group to get busy creating true, lasting change.

There are three things I want us to focus on today:
1. Contact Target to let them know their exclusive versions of Merida dolls are inappropriate and they have lost a sale because you will not purchase these dolls for a child. You can see my comment to Target here.
Effect: This tells retailers that as consumers we will expect more from them and what they carry from suppliers. This tells suppliers/media creators (Disney) their retail partners will also feel pressure when products like the Merida makeover go amiss.

2. Help the Pigtail Pals & Ballcap Buddies Community create a list of 5-7 Action Items that creatively lays out steps Disney can take to make this right.
Effect: By using our consumers voices to talk *with* a corporation (as opposed to making demands from) we demonstrate to the people inside that we understand they are friends and parents and neighbors who may not completely understand the issue or how to get out of it. This community believes in “When you know better, you do better”. Let’s show Disney how they can do better.

3. A little bit later today I will introduce a new interactive website that was created by a team of allies dedicated to making sure girls are seen as smart, daring, and adventurous. This website will connect the dots between Merida being a symptom of a much larger public health issue.

Effect: This will be a way to inspire ongoing, informed activism to create lasting change.  The website will simultaneously teach on the issues and harness the power of social media to attract more voices to the discussion with Disney.

First, I want us to focus on letting retailers know what we think when they carry versions of Merida that are disingenuous of the character created by Brenda Chapman, consumers become frustrated and angry and hold them accountable for taking part in spreading sexualized messages to children. Chapman has been very clear on why Merida was created in the spirit she was. Target stores carry some exclusive Disney licenses produced by Mattel. Whether it is a complete lack of common sense, a void of creativity, or both, this doll is not Merida:

I wrote a review for this doll, which has yet to populate on the Target website:

While looking for an “end of the school year” gift for my brave and spirited daughter, I stumbled upon this doll and was completely taken aback. I cringed and laughed out loud at the same time.

I would never buy this for my children. This is insulting to the fans and consumers of Pixar’s gem of a female protagonist from last summer. Be sure that the majority of children and parents see right through this. We fell in love with Merida *because* she was different. I would think Target is a large enough retailer to be able to demand better from Disney. Did no one at Target or Disney actually see “Brave”?

This doll is clearly a drastic departure from the Pixar Merida; the wild, strong, fresh faced princess that my entire family fell in love with last summer. I find myself continuing to ask why toy manufacturers insist on such a narrow depiction of female characters, shoving all of them into the “pretty and delicate princess” toy mold. Surely there is more creativity involved in creating this second tier merchandise.

When you put the daring, tangled hair, non-perfect Princess Merida on your shelves, you’ll have a customer in me. This doll is ridiculous and I will be spending my money elsewhere.

 

While I was showing my daughter the doll above, I came across this doll also exclusive to Target:

And wrote another review, which like the other review has yet to appear on the Target website:

While reviewing Target’s new Princess Merida doll, virtually unrecognizable as Merida, I pulled up this doll to show my daughter the difference between the two and we could not believe what we were seeing.

I purchased this doll in this exact box in November 2012 as a Christmas gift for my daughter. Six months ago the doll did not have a sparkly dress with sweetheart neckline. The doll I purchased wore the emerald green dress Merida wore in the movie when she declared her independence from her mother’s plans for her future. The bow for the doll I purchased was true to the movie, this one is gold and fit for a princess, I presume. Gone is the leather quiver that came with my doll, replaced with a golden comb, natch. A core part of Merida was the character her unruly, wild hair held.

If these dolls are exclusive to Target, licensed through Disney, I have to wonder if Target thinks its consumers are stupid, or if the toy designers never saw the movie or understand exactly what was so popular about it.

I am glad I purchased the Merida that I did before she got the Disney Princess makeover. I would not purchase this current version for my children. When viewing this, my seven year old asked that you be brave enough to make bold dolls for girls. I hope you are up to the task.

My research revealed that both of these dolls seem to be exclusive for Target, designed by Disney and produced by Mattel.  Disney is responsible for the design. My question to my community is, does Target have to carry them? Or can Target be the retailer who stands up and says no to the ridiculous sexualization of these dolls? While the dolls themselves are not overtly sexual, the sexualization comes in when we see a doll like the first one in this post be made over to fit beauty norms and have her beauty be her sole attribute to the exclusion of all other things; she is made into an object of beauty, so much so that she is unrecognizable as the character she is supposed to be.

Let’s inform Target we do not appreciate them carrying dolls that teach our children a girl should be valued for beauty and nothing else. Merida broke that mold in her movie, and I’d like to see Target be the retailer who breaks that mold for our familes. My comment on Target’s facebook page is here, and I would love for you to add your thoughts underneath it or create your own respectful message to Target. As my seven year old daughter said today, she would like toy companies and the grown ups who sell the toys to be brave.

After you make contact with Target, let’s focus our energy as a group on making a list of 5-7 action items to be sent to Disney, sort of a road map for Disney, that includes some creative problem solving but also lets them know we will not stand for the strong female protagonist we fell in love with to fall into the dainty, pretty princess trap. What would we like to see Disney do, and what are reasonable asks? Let us craft this as if it were going into a board room with top executives and as a group of tens of thousands of concerned consumers, this is what we would like to see them do.

For example, toy production for a line like this starts 12-18 months out. Can Target or Disney pull all of the dolls? That may not be possible, and it may not be doable immediately. Could they change website content to erase all instances of the new Sexy Merida and release a statement committing to doing so? Or create content with a counter message, to reassure families they got this wrong and understand now how to get it right? Could they work with Pigtails Pals & Ballcap Buddies to join with us to spread our message “There Are Many Ways To Be A Girl”? Could they write an open letter to girls (but maybe ALL kids, since so many boys loved Merida, too) and express to them they understand why Merida was loved by so many, they are proud of these girls for using their voices, and they promise to do right by them in the future? What are some of your ideas?

I refuse to believe it is a foregone conclusion that corporations act void of ethics or caring.  I run a business and I don’t operate that way. Corporations are made up of people who have families and these issues affect them just as much as they affect us. If it is their job to work at Disney, how can we help them do this aspect of their job better? When my customers contact me and ask for a change, I take it into consideration and many times have made those changes asked for. (Example — remember when I forget the bike helmets on the Bike Riders design? Whoops! It was pointed out to me on our facebook page, the constructive criticism was spot on, and the change was made the next business day.)

Let’s act together as a group and with the members of our sister organizations, be strong advocates for our children. Disney may not know or understand a way out of this. Let’s give them some ideas.

Ultimately, what we do as parents and concerned consumers matters because our children are watching our actions (or lack thereof). My seven year old daughter and five year old son wanted nothing to do with new Sexy Merida. We love Original Merida. As a parent who is conscientious of the media my children take in, the Pixar Merida up against the Disney Princess Merida feels like a bait-and-switch. Disney was remiss not to capitalize on their giant hit popular with boys and girls. The adventurous, bold, fresh-faced princess was a mega-hit because of those qualities. We want to qualities to stay in place.

“That’s not Merida” is the echo from children everywhere. Target and Disney, we ask that you do better, and honor who Merida really was. By doing so, you send a strong message to my son and daughter when they see bold and brave Merida on the shelf. Children learn from the media around them. Let’s give them the healthiest messages possible.

Okay, tell us what you said to Target, and what ideas you have for our list to Disney! And let’s move fast on this! I want a printable ready by Wednesday morning for our new collaborative website!

A few things:
1. Some folks are sending me cartoons and posts on the Sexy Merida makeover, and I just wanted to remind this community that I do not share content that depicts violence against women (one Merida shooting another with an arrow) or articles/posts that use pejoratives against women (whore, slut, skank, etc).

2. This page/business uses media literacy to teach people about the harms of gender stereotypes and sexualization in childhood. We strongly encourage educated activism on the part of our followers, because we understand how these issues negatively impact our children’s development.
Another thing we strongly encourage is teaching children critical thinking skills. For example, this protest against Sexy Merida is not that we are upset that Disney failed to show our children what strong women look like and that we want a giant corporation to do a better job of “babysitting our children”. This protest is about being mindful of the media and messages our children take in, and being upset about Disney introducing a strong female protagonist to our children and then turning her into a sexualized version of her former brave self.

3. I know the change.org petition has received a lot of press, but the real story in my opinion are the individuals who shared blogs and took part in facebook threads with their circles of friends educating them on this subject. It takes three seconds to sign the online petition and that has power (sometimes, in this instance yes) but taking the time to teach has a more lasting effect, and that is what I saw parents from my Pigtail Pals & Ballcap Buddies community and my sister organizations do in their private circles. It was wonderful to watch my followers become teachers themselves. I often say sexualization is the children’s rights issue of our time, and this week we saw parents everywhere take up that fight! I could not be more proud of all of you.

The mainstream is the litmus test for society, right? So when this is the mainstream image children get of females while they are in childhood, what are we saying? What do we value? Does that help our children, in correspondence with their development? Or does that harm?

My new favorite person, David Trumble, made this amazing cartoon (BELOW) with co-conspirator Lori Day to make a satirical and pointed display of how unnecessary the sexing up of Merida (and really, all of the princesses) was by giving similar makeovers to famous members of women’s history.

Take in the big picture and write down your guesses of who the women below are, but do this before reading his post on the satirical “World of Women” princess collection.

Once you figure out who is who, the way Disney does “female” becomes so blaring and obvious….

A PPBB Community Member said on facebook: “I guessed only two correctly. David Trumble’s work here stripped away the uniqueness, the power, and the greatness of these women by turning them into Disney princesses. They’ve been stripped of their identities, of their individuality that makes them all so inspiring. Extremely powerful. Kudos to David.” -Whitney Lundy

Also, you should take 18 minutes to listen to David’s Tedx talk. Listen with your tween/teen if you’ve got one.

 

But we are SO used to seeing women look like this, both in illustrated form for children and video games and in advertising. Do we even see it anymore?

Does Batman help?

Questions you should be asking yourself (and your kids!) while taking this in: Would we ever see a man posed this way? Do any women you know in real life stand this way? Why is this the version of femininity that is taught by the mainstream to our kids?

Matthew Bogart did a splendid job of this, and his post is a great read.

My seven year old daughter has finally figured out the mechanics of sex, and that I had sex with her father to create her. She is horrified by this concept. And isn’t that how seven year olds SHOULD think? I’m a big fan of “Everything in its time” but the problem is, our kids don’t get their “time” anymore.

Stop with the sexy for the kids. I mean really. It isn’t necessary. It isn’t healthy for them. And it isn’t needed to turn a profit. Do better.

It is disheartening to think that I am raising my brilliant, vibrant children in a society so obsessed with tits and ass. We seriously need to find something more meaningful to do with our time.

And we need to stop including our kids in that obsession.

A comment that frequently comes up during conversations about pushing back against sexualized or sexist children’s media is that if those of us complaining simply parented our children, we wouldn’t have an issue. The companion comment is the suggestion to find real role models for our kids, and not let the television babysit them or toys raise them.
So putting aside what feels like an obtuse nature to that kind of commentary towards parents and families not known to the commentor, I do support the idea of our kids have real role models to look up to. For my kids, our family has a group of college girls whom we adore.

The 7yo Original Pigtail Pal was surprised at lunch today by our friend Hayley, who is just home from college. Amelia has been to Hayley’s softball games, hospital bedside when Hayley fought and beat a rare brain tumor, graduation party, and Relay for Life events. Hayley comes by to take the kids to the park, out for ice cream, and even just to pile up on the couch and take a good nap.

I don’t see caring about media literacy as being mutually exclusive to actively engaging in the parenting of our children or failure to provide good role models. The products I don’t care for, say Barbie or Disney Princesses or Monster High, introduce characters to my children that couldn’t hold a candle to girls like our Hayley, and the MOST important thing is….my kids know it.

 

The redrawing and sexualizing of Merida did not take place in a vacuum. It is sexy Merida + cast of existing coquettish princesses + Barbie empire + Bratz + Monster High + Winx Club + sexy Tinker Bell+ + sexualized clothing in Girls dept at stores + lack of meaningful roles and representation in media + culture saturated in sexualization and objectification of females of all ages + + + +

They’ve even sexed up My Little Ponies, Rainbow Brite, and Candy Land. CANDY LAND, People.

Each one of these instances is a drip landing in a bucket. The problem is, that bucket is now overflowing and our young daughters are standing in a BIG frigging mess, knee deep. And the stain left by that mess is the idea that looking sexy for external validation, to the exclusion of ALL other characteristics and talents, is what gives a girl her worth.

Hell no. HELL. NO.

For those who say we should be concerned about rape culture and equal pay and lack of equal political representation, yes. Yes we should be, and that is the weight women bear on our shoulders. But instead of telling us what to think, because that just doesn’t go over well with me, try thinking from our perspective and seeing that ALL of those problems some think are bigger, independent issues start as the festering sore that is the complete sexualization and objectification of women in our society. How can women as a whole achieve parity in society if individually we are only valued by that society according to how f*ckable we are? THIS is where that idea gets its start, and that idea is being taught to our very smallest of girls.

That idea doesn’t sit well with me. I think it is time we change the way we think about our girls.

I live in a medium-sized Midwestern town (about 63,000 people or so) and when my husband and I moved here from San Diego by way of Washington DC, we noticed there were not a lot of healthy kid-friendly restaurant options. Gone were all of the fresh foods at independent restaurant and smoothie stands.

We’ve been to McDonald’s with our kids before because in the winter when they were toddlers I needed somewhere to take them to burn off some energy. Aside from the library, our town offered nowhere else to go when it was snowy outside. So, we’d pack some fresh fruit and string cheese and head to the McDonald’s Playland. They got to socialize with their little friends, I got to see my friends, and I rationalized that the white milk and nuggets (no sauce or ketchup) weren’t all that bad. I remember freaking out a bit when my one year old daughter was fed a French fry for the first time (she doesn’t like them now). I’ve let my guard down since then, but I’ll be the first to admit that I don’t know if that was the right thing to do.

As my kids got a bit older, and I became more aware of the insidious marketing McDonald’s aims at them. It is inescapable. And I don’t like it one bit.

That’s why I agreed to join up with Corporate Accountability International and their campaign “Moms Not Loving It”. I don’t like McDonald’s thinking of me as a gatekeeper, and directly marketing their unhealthy food to my family.

Here’s some of the things that both me, provided by CAI:

• McDonald’s is clearly working to get around me as a parent and to aggressively market to my kids–from Happy Meal toys to Ronald assemblies in schools to online games–and that’s not okay.
• McDonald’s aims to envelope the environment children grow-up in with marketing. Schools have long been exploited to market McDonald’s junk food to kids.
• School districts can get $1000 for allowing Ronald to “pitch health and wellness” to kids. In one egregious example, schools were paid to print the McDonald’s logo on report cards. And all over the country, McDonald’s has deliberately cited restaurants near schools and sought to market and/or sell its product in schools.
• 
  To curry favor with parents McDonald’s has done everything from sponsoring this year’s Washington state PTA convention and promoting McTeacher’s Nights (that do more for the corporation’s bottom line and brand trust then they do for schools).
• Online advertising and “advergames” are the newest way McDonald’s is
  innovating marketing to kids. As other forms of marketing receive greater and
  greater scrutiny and push back from moms, McDonald’s hopes to reach kids in
  yet another place it’s hard for parents to control. McWorld and HappyMeal.com
  are two marquee examples.
• Cross-promotions with kids’ shows and movies like “The Croods” also ensure
  whatever has cultural currency for kids is connected to McDonald’s brand. In a
  2012 McDonald’s/Star Wars commercial, the corporation tells kids that “when
  it’s time to recharge, nothing beats a Happy Meal.”
  o Celebrities and role models that children look up to have long been employed to
  build brand loyalty with kids. The latest example is the corporation’s tabbing
  gymnast Gabby Douglas to promote a new breakfast offering.
  o Radio ads also target kids. The most insidious example was the promotion of
  McDonald’s junk food on BusRadio, which broadcast to 10,000 school buses and
  one million students in 24 states before going out of business.
  o Happy Meal toys. McDonald’s is one of the largest distributors of toys, giving
  away 1.5 billion toys each year worldwide.
  
  It will come as no surprise to parents, but market research indicates that
  only 16 percent of children under six choose fast food children’s meals
  for the food inside, while more than one-third of kids choose the socalled
  “Happy Meals” for the plastic collectables!

So visit http://www.stopcorporateabuse.org/momsnotlovinit to see how you can share this info via facebook, twitter, and email. Let’s get the word out there that we are #MomsNotLovingIt.

The price point and consumerism aside, what was magical about American Girl dolls and books was that the brand gave our daughters a sense of their place in history. It showed them that girls have always been present and doing amazing, brave, and daring things. You can’t be what you can’t see.

As my friend Soraya Chemaly pointed out in a post last week, when we consider public life in the United States alone there are 5,193 public, outdoor statues. Guess how many of those are of men? 4,799. That means 394 of 5, 193 statues are women. We have no women on our everyday currency, no public holidays marking any significant effort made by any woman in this country.

American Girls used to tell a girl’s place in fighting child labor, slavery, taming the West, treatment of Native Americans, war time hardships…. American Girl tells a much different story now. Because Mattel.

Two great posts here….

“Organic gardening and school art supplies are perfectly acceptable issues for young girls to tackle, but contrasted with Samantha taking on the entire practice of child labor (as opposed to just rescuing her one friend from factory exploitation), these plotlines keep good works close to home, focusing only on issues that affect their own backyards and school days. Problems that mainly affect people who, echoing the My American Girl dolls appeal, look “just like me.” After the entry-level critiques of capitalism (Samantha), Native American persecution (Kirsten), and traditional domestic roles for women (Felicity), perhaps the time has come for a doll who takes her fourth-grade class on a field trip to Occupy Wall Street.

With a greater focus on appearance, increasingly mild character development, and innocuous political topics, a former character-building toy has become more like a stylish accessory. Radford says, “I was really focused on the historical and fictional stories of the dolls. My [younger] cousins seem to view their dolls as one more item they need to be cool. They seem focused on having more outfits than their friends as opposed to connecting to the stories.” American Girl once provided a point of entry for girls who have matured into thoughtful, critical, empowered citizens. Now the company’s identity feels as smooth, unthreatening and empty as the dolls on their shelves.” – Amy Schiller

and here…..

“The image is embarrassing — privileged, comfortable, with idiotic-sounding names and few problems that a bake sale wouldn’t solve. Life comes to them in manageable, small bites, pre-chewed. No big adventures. No high stakes. All the rough edges are sanded off and the Real Dangers excluded. It’s about as much fun as walking around in a life vest.” – Alexandra Petri

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Four years ago today I launched my little business from the corner of my dining room with a little kid on each hip and zero experience in what I was about to do. I knew there had to be other parents who felt the same way I did about gender stereotypes, sexualization, and marketing having such a negative impact on our kids. I had to teach myself about e-commerce, marketing, social media, blogging, advocacy work, and how to write a book. None of it was easy but every step of the way I have been determined to succeed for our kids. I’ve had great mentors and people to work with along the way. All of it was worth it, especially on those nights I’m up at 2am answering emails and I get that note from a parent saying “Now I see it.”

I remember being so excited when the facebook page reached 100 followers and getting five orders in one day. We’ve grown A LOT since then! It turns out there are thousands and thousands of parents who felt the same way I did about these issues. I truly mean it when I say this has become a “community”, and I could not be prouder of the work we have done and continue to do.

Thank you, THANK YOU, to all of you who have supported Pigtail Pals & Ballcap Buddies – whether it be through orders from the online boutique, sharing blog posts, being an active member on facebook or twitter, or sharing excitement about my upcoming book.

Thank you so much for being a part of PPBB and being committed to raising Full of Awesome kids!

Attempts to silence are attempts to incite fear. To remove someone’s voice is to remove their humanity.

This company and advocacy group operates under the belief that females are full human beings who hold agency and worth.

We believe that women who speak out against sexual assault, perpetrated against males and females, have the right to their voice and should be able to do so free of mob cyber-violence and orchestrated attempts to sabotage their work.

I was contacted by the publicist and publisher of the book mentioned below to raise awareness for this specific issue, but also to tie it in to the larger issue of the objectification of females, whether it be a new sexy princess sold to little girls, or social media movements aimed at giving women a voice to end the objectification of their sisters, or global efforts to end violence against women. It is all intertwined.

The phrase in question from this book is, from an inside source, the “wild inaccuracies” that they claim discredit the entire book boiled down to one two-word correction: The graduate assistant didn’t see Sandusky “forcing fellatio” on a boy (that was an earlier janitor) but rather “forcing anal intercourse” on a boy.

Is this organized and persistent campaign against the well-researched book “Rape Is Rape” a valid uproar over a egregious error in the text? Or is this about silencing women who speak out against sexual violence?

 

Email from publicist:

I want to bring to your attention a recent organized attack on the book Rape is Rape: How Denial, Distortion, and Victim Blaming are Fueling a Hidden Acquaintance Rape Crisis by Jody Raphael, J.D. (Lawrence Hill Books, April 2013), and explain why this bullying campaign against Rape is Rape needs to be shared. I hope you’ll consider covering the book after hearing this story.

You might already be familiar with an organized effort on the Rivals BWI Penn State Boards attacking anyone who does not defend Joe Paterno Records or accepts the NCAA Sanctions and Freeh Report. The group has organized a concerted effort to do the same to Rape is Rape, as seen in this link. Over 30 members of this group have attacked the book on its Amazon.com page, giving it 1-star reviews to decrease the book’s sales and rankings, and many of them have accosted the author through harassing emails or phone calls. Upon sharing this news with her colleagues in the women’s rights advocacy world, Raphael realized just how common this sort of scenario is—feminist writers all too often get ganged up on by rape apologist groups and bullied into silence.

The attackers fixated on a single sentence in Raphael’s book—one that mistakenly conflated two separate incidents in the Sandusky case into one, an oversight that has already been corrected for future print runs of the book—and used it as an excuse to bring down the credibility and integrity of the entire book and its author. In the same way that rape deniers find miniscule ways to blame the victim (“if it was really rape, why did you wait so long to tell someone?”), so too are the members of this Rivals BWI Penn State message board distorting the greater message of Raphael’s book to further their own agenda.

The attack that Rape is Rape received is so analogous to the denial and bullying reactions aimed at acquaintance rape victims—it is proof of all that the book stands for.

 

Press Release on book:

“[A] meticulously  researched and passionately argued rebuttal of those who would deny the  reality and alarming prevalence of acquaintance rape.”—Kirkus  Reviews

More than 80  percent of rapes in the United States are committed by someone the victim  knows—colleagues, dates, friends or family members. But the clichéd image of a  violent stranger lurking in alleyways has distorted the public view of rape so  much that many no longer recognize the majority of rape cases as “real.”  Shockingly, this deluded belief belongs not only to conservatives and  right-wing Christian groups but also to those who usually pride themselves on  being advocates for women: colleges and universities and even some  controversial feminists. When all of these parties are guilty of ignoring and  denying acquaintance rape, American women and girls are left  defenseless.

Through raw, emotionally charged interviews with  victims, government statistics and a thorough analysis of medical and judicial  records, RAPE IS RAPE: How Denial, Distortion, and Victim Blaming are  Fueling a Hidden Acquaintance Rape Crisis (Lawrence Hill Books, an  imprint of Chicago Review Press, April 2013) by Jody Raphael, J.D. reveals how  the tactics used by rape deniers endanger the rights of women, condone the  behavior of serial rapists and downplay the seriousness of acquaintance  rape.

According to a recent study from the Centers for  Disease Control and Prevention, 14 million women in the United States have  been forced to have sex without their consent. Although the reporting of such  incidences has increased since 1975, the conviction rate has dropped to six  percent. The first book to examine the effects of rape denial on victims and  judicial outcomes, RAPE IS RAPE demonstrates how institutions  designed to protect the rights of women fail because they operate on the  misguided assumption that acquaintance rapes are mere alcohol-fueled  misunderstandings, the fault of the victim or too hard to  prove.

The personal stories told in RAPE IS RAPE provide context and commentary on a serious yet underreported issue.  Most of these women, university students between the ages of 19 to 26, are  unable to press charges because of legal blockades or assaults on their  credibility from the public. They are humiliated, blamed and accused of  confusing rape with “bad sex,” resulting in long-term psychological trauma  that negatively impacts their personal and professional lives. Most of the  cases explored in the book occur under the purview of college campuses and  medical institutions, places families trust to protect their  children.

To combat this epidemic, Raphael, a nationally known  rape victims advocate, outlines prescriptive measures for universities,  hospitals and police to help them educate and empower victims of rape, making  it safer for them to come forward. The book also includes a resource section  with helpful information for those seeking help or to raise awareness.

A visceral and compelling call to action, RAPE  IS RAPE is a must-read for anyone personally or professionally  concerned with protecting the rights of women and girls.

Jody  Raphael, JD, is an attorney and a nationally known researcher, lecturer,  and advocate on issues of violence against women. She is the author of  Freeing Tammy: Women, Drugs, and Incarceration; Listening to Olivia:  Violence, Poverty, and Prostitution; and Saving Bernice: Battered  Women, Welfare, and Poverty. She lives in Oak Park , Illinois  .

 

I will be reviewing Rape is Rape on the blog next week. In the meantime, I encourage all of you to support people who speak out against sexual violence and to speak out against those who try to silence them.

The 7yo Original Pigtail Pal went to school today with unbrushed hair. Again. I asked if we could run a comb through it, specifically for the pieces sticking straight up in back. She flatly refused, saying she they were her crown and she wanted to show her friends that there are different ways to be a princess.

I asked why this was important to her, and she said “Princesses are supposed to be powerful and smart and daring. Have you SEEN what they did to Merida? I know, right? She isn’t ready to rule Scotland or Ohio. She is with a bunch of girls standing like they are trying to catch frickin’ boyfriends or butterflies. *gasp* Mom! I swore!”

“No worries, Smalls. It is pretty frickin’ insane,” I relied.

 

Disney, and specifically the Disney Princess brand, was a major influence when I was creating my company Pigtail Pals back in 2009. Back then we were Pigtail Pals – Redefine Girly with the tagline that girls are “Smart, daring and adventurous”.  I know have a seven year old girl who has been raised with empowering messages and has had a girlhood virtually free of Disney Princesses.

Until Merida came along. We fell in love with Merida. We purchased Merida toys, my first purchase as a parent from the Disney Store. Our whole family loved “Brave” and we spent the summer galloping on imaginary horses and shooting arrows from our pool noodle bows. There were early indications that Disney couldn’t help itself, and because the Princess brand is so narrow, Merida would be made over super dainty and “princessified” in order to fit in with the rest of the merchandise. What Disney doesn’t seem to get is that people loved Merida because she was different.

A child’s brand should not be sexed up in order to be more profitable, but that is exactly what Disney does. That is why my family does not do Disney. The “come hither” eyes and delicate poses and coy looks….No. That is not how we raise little girls into self confident and strong young women. My daughter’s worth is not her sex appeal.

My daughter has the natural born right to plant her feet firmly, look you directly in the eye, shoulders square, and claim her right to take up space in this world.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Here’s more from the Mary Sue and from our pal Peggy Orenstein.

You can pre-order my new book “Redefining Girly: How Parents Can Fight the Stereotyping and Sexualization of Girlhood, from Birth to Tween” here.

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UPDATE:

You can sign our petition HERE.

Academy Award winner director Brenda Chapman, creator of Merida, speaks out against Disney’s redrawing of Merida and give them a piece of her mind! Read HERE.